My new boyfriend is smothering me like crazy?
Topic: Guy stressed about homework
May 24, 2019 / By Joss Question:
So, I've been with this guy for only about two weeks and I really like him. He's sweet, has all the same morals as me, is a stand up guy..really nice. The only issue is, he is SMOTHERING me!!! He texts me constantly, always wants to see me. It wouldn't bother me so much but I'm in school for my pHd and am really short on time since I'm always doing homework. Not only that, but I also have my friends badgering me every five minutes to hang out with them. I basically feel like I'm being pulled in 90 different directions and can't get anything done. I'm not sure if it's HIM that's bothering me, or if it's all this stuff at once and me not feeling like I can have a free minute for myself. I was telling my mother this the other day...my weekends are not mine anymore, I'm constantly out with my friends or with him. I don't like to cause drama and I just want to keep my friends happy, but I'm sacrificing my happiness and my schoolwork to keep everybody else happy. I think I'm just going to have to tell everybody to go away for a little while just so I can breathe. Any advice? Do you think it's him that is the issue or does it sound like it's EVERYTHING that has been suffocating me, not just him? Ugh...
Best Answers: My new boyfriend is smothering me like crazy?
Gerry | 5 days ago
Everything seems to be smothering you. It's not just one thing - it's a mixture of things.
You're a really busy student with a lot of school work and stress on your mind. You have a lot of work that needs to be done and looked after. You don't have time to slow things down. Your school days are probably all filled up so your only chance to relax is on the weekend.
Your boyfriend probably doesn't understand how many things you have going on at once. Explain to him in a kind way that you really enjoy his messages and texts but that he needs to understand that you probably won't have the chance to answer them during the day because you're busy. If you give him a call in the evening to catch up that'll help with it. He misses you and thinks about you all day which is very sweet but you're a busy person. Talk to him about it. He most definitely doesn't see the amount of things you have going on so be gentle. You don't want to hurt his feelings but you also don't want to get burnt out and take it out on him.
Tell the friends the same thing. Tell them you love hanging out but that you really need a night to yourself this weekend to relax because you have so much stress. Just say you're not feeling very well and take the time to indulge in your thoughts. It's hard to have your friends pressuring you and having fun all the time and not being able to participate or feeling obligated to. Yeah, I'm sure you have a time but it's necessary that you take some time to breathe.
It's a huge amount of multiple things that are making you feel this way. Deal with each one individually and that way you won't hurt anyone and you'll get what you need.
👍 118 | 👎 5
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We found more questions related to the topic: Guy stressed about homework
Originally Answered: How do I tell my boyfriend he's smothering me?
You need to explain to him what it is that he does that makes you feel smothered. You can't just say "you’re smothering me!" Give him specifics, and give him a chance to reflect and make changes. Relationships can be tricky, and he might react in a wounded manner. Let him know and understand you want to be with him, Just that you have your own friends and things you enjoy doing and that he should too. Explain how he was interesting to you when you first met. The things he did, the people he knew. And that he should keep being that person, so that your relationship has time to grow and mature without suffering from overkill.
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The easiest thing to do is to talk to your friends and your boyfriend about it......its your life and you have to be happy, thats the Number 1....
You explain it to them and if they are your friends, they will understand so will your new boyfriend...
I guess they dont know what you feel and so there is no reason for them to chnage anything since they dont know....
Just talk to them, it will make things easier!
👍 40 | 👎 -4
Just tell everyone that you need a weekend to your self to do homework and that you can't hang out with anyone. tell your boyfriend that you really really like him and want to stay with him but that he needs to understand that you can't be with him every min of everyday. and that you love spending time with him but.. you have homework AND friends to deal with too, if i were you a would set a day like sunday. and every sunday you too do something together. that way you have saturdays for friends and weekdays for homework.
hoped i helped!!!
👍 36 | 👎 -13
i think u should draw out an a schedule for friends and ur bf and ur self because u just pushed everything together organize ur life b4 u get totally lost
👍 32 | 👎 -22
Originally Answered: Should I just tell her how I feel? or is this too smothering?
You don't have to actually say your interested in her. See how she smiled at you and you thought there was something going on? Do the same thing back and she will get the message.
But just smiling may to get you that far. What you should do is gain her trust again. I see this as a trust related issue since you getting awkward has made her loose faith in you. So instead of asking her on a date straight away try asking her how she feels about things remembering to explain why you felt awkward instead. I know its hard but its the best thing if you want to patch up your friendship. Relationships are about being open and onset with one another as much as they are loving the other person so if you don't start now it'll never work because if you don't talk that can lead to suspicion. If there is suspicion that can never be proper trust and trust is what every relationship needs to be able to work properly.
Once you've done that you should invite her to an ice rink so you can go ice skating together. This is good because you can help each other out when you fall because you can pick each other up and this will shine though and encourages trust between the 2 people. If you cannot find an ice skating venue simply try say, watching a scary movie together. That's easy enough. You will find yourselves snuggling up to one another at the scary bits and in turn you will fill safe in each others arms. This will show you care and when you feel the same emotions to certain situations its usually a good sign. Well in short it can show, for example, when you cry I cry too because I care about something that you feel deeply for and that's more than just sympathy.
Basically you need something with a bit of adrenaline where you can help each other out when you fall.