I am going crazy?
Topic: Online driving jobs application
July 22, 2019 / By Jerrie Question:
I am going crazy right now. My husband and I seem to be arguing all the time. We are sometimes arguing who starts the arguing. The other day he came out with some truths of the lies he told 2 years ago. Now its like what else have you been lying about. Yesterday we argued about not turning in a job application that I had already applied online to. He wants to argue about the stupidest tiniest things. Its driving me crazy and I have no idea what to do. Ive told him to stop acting like a little boy does that help no then he turns it on me saying its my fault. Ive done everything I can think of not to argue by not saying anything and even that hasnt helped he gets mad because i wont say anything. PLEASE HELP!!!! I dont know what to do anymore.
He gets enough sex number one he gets more than enough I am pretty sure for being married we have more sex than the average couple it usually happens more than 2 times a day so i dont think that is the issue here. Underlying issues I have no underlying issues Ive let those go maybe he hasnt.
Best Answers: I am going crazy?
Flora | 10 days ago
From what you wrote, it appears you and your husband argue not to resolve conflict but to win over each other. To resolve conflict is to compormise, not to win. Also, by you telling your husband that he is acting like a little boy indicates there is no respect in the words you both say to each other. Words can cut like a knife and it does no help other than escalate things further. Jjust know, it takes two to be involved in an argument. Avoiding him is not the answer as it is just a silent way of being rude. What you must do is practice in how you reacte to him. Are you defensive, do you come across as attacking him, do you try to hurt him with words? See if both of you are doing all of these things, it will get you no where. One of you needs to stop and it can start with you. Next time your husband approaches you about an argument and he appears agressive, what you do is say something like this, "honey, when you talk to me like that it scares me, I am willing to listen to you, lets calm ourselves down and see what it is I am doing that is upsetting you".....he may not get it at first as he is not used to you responding this way, but in time he will get it. If he doesn't get it, then you remove yourself from the situation by leaving. You can go to the mall, the movies or visit a friend or family, anything except stay there. Eventually he will get tired of having an argument by himself. Good luck to you!
👍 188 | 👎 10
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Originally Answered: PLEASE HELP ME! I DREAM ABOUT TWILIGHT, AND I AM OBSESSED! I AM EDWARD CRAZY! AM I REALLY TWILIGHT CRAZY?
1) Stop Complaining. You get to dream about what you like best! Edward, being a vampire? Are you kidding me? Enjoy it.
2) But if you really want to get rid of the dreams, take down all your Twilight stuff. Stop watching the movie, stop reading the books. Most importantly, try not to think about it. Get Twilight and Edward out of you head.
It helps not dreaming if your really tired or occupied. Play some sports, go out with some friends, (and if your desperate) do your homework or job work, or whatever.
After this you'll start dreaming normally. Then you can get back on Twilight, if you need it that bad. Don't rush into it, or you'll just get back to where you started.
But seriously.....Edward dreams? Don't question it, just love it!
If you are arguing about stupid stuff then there is definately an underlying problem. Remember in high school when you would date a guy and he would do stuff so you would dump him and he wouldn't have to do it? Well some men still do that. The next time he tries to start a fight about something little just hug him and say "what is going on, I love you and I don't know what to do anymore." Good luck!
👍 70 | 👎 1
Your mistake is making HIS problem into your problem. If he gets mad, let him get mad -- that's not your problem, it's his.
That said, you would do well to employ active listening techniques. This makes the person feel that he is being heard, and therefore less argumentative. Here's what you do:
1. Make eye contact.
2. Ask clarification questions about what he's saying if there's anything you don't understand.
3. Paraphrase back to him what he has said and then ask, "Is that right?" or "Am I understanding you correctly?" or words to that effect.
4. Ask him his feelings about what he is saying.
Steel yourself to the fact that, the first time you try this, you'll probably have to listen to several minutes of ranting before he calms down. However, if you employ these techniques consistenly over several days and weeks, the arguing will diminish significantly because he will feel that you are really listening to him.
👍 61 | 👎 -8
There are probably some underlying issues are causing you to argue. Try to figure out what those underlying issues are. For example, do you resent him for something that he did to you? Does he resent you for some reason. Try to talk about what you are feeling underneath. Help him understand how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. Ask him about how he is really feeling about you. It can really help to talk about the underlying issues. Usually, that type of fighting is a symptom of some other problem that you are not talking about. When you are fighting, however, it is hard to get a grip on your emotions and calm down to think about how you really feel. Try this and see if it helps.
👍 52 | 👎 -17
You poor thing, I am sorry to hear your husband is being unreasonable. I believe there will be disagreements in every marriage, but instead of fighting for the sake of fighting, we should focus on the issues, resolve it and move on.
The next time your husband behaves childishly, let him know you'd like to resolve the problem, but only if he can act maturely and focus on the issue at hand, and if he's going to be mad and act immaturely, you refuse to speak to him until he calms down. Then calmly go about what you were doing before the argument.
👍 43 | 👎 -26
Ok...first off...some men act like children. We know that. It's common knowledge. Also, these men who act like children like to run away from their problems and/or blame others for their failures. When that doesn't work out, they resort to lying about anything. They'll tell you the sky is green, even though it's a clear, sunny, perfect day. Why?...cause they can...cause they need something to say....and it doesn't matter to them. The lying isn't a big deal.
When they get to this point, everything is fair game. He's given up on reason, and he's just acting out...like a child. He's really unhappy about something, and it's probably something that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Usually, judging from my experiences, he's unhappy with himself, and knows that he's not worthy of you or your time, and instead of correcting his own failures, he tries to bring you down to his level.
Sit him down...tell him..."ok; let's talk like adults." You guys are married. You should be able to talk.
👍 34 | 👎 -35
Unfortunately, if he's lied before, he could be hiding something from you now, like an affair. You always think the worst, right? Sucks, but sounds like there may be more to it then the arguing.
👍 25 | 👎 -44
Your husband is probably having an affair. And, you are probably not getting much in the intimate area. Use condoms with your husband so you don't get any STDs. His behavior is classic of a man having an affair. They find every reason to distance their wives to excuse their own behavior of looking for sex outside the marriage.
👍 16 | 👎 -53
go on a mini vacation even if its to the motel, this will help you have a change of environment.... Have some alone time with out arguing!
👍 7 | 👎 -62
Originally Answered: Do you think this is crazy or?
You're never too old, or too young, to start chasing your dreams. There's really no harm in trying, and you never know, you could end up published. Wouldn't you like to be able to display your own novels on your bookshelf? It'd certainly be a good story for the grand-kids (not to mention inspirational for them).
Basically -- if you don't do this for yourself, it's never going to happen. I can tell you've tried to repress your passion and pursue something more sensible, but your mind always wanders back to what could have been. Have a go at editing them, and see what comes of it. And remember not to let rejection letters faze you; all authors get rejected a few times before they're published, and it's all about finding the right publishers for your story.
Have a go!
You've got nothing to lose.