Topic: Application writing for leave cover
May 22, 2019 / By Janette Question:
First my love life:
-I can't go out no dates/boyfriends and the rest of my families lets there kids.
-I have to get married to the same race
-I can't HANG OUT with boys
-I can't crush on someone
-I have to go to summer school because of the specialized high school test.
-and when the summer is over i have to go to saturday school.
-When i'm 14 i have to get a job
-Every summer i go to summer school and nobody else in my school does
Make up and clothes:
-NO make allowed no cover up and stuff
-Clothes can't be emo/punk
-No short shorts
-I have to tie my hair up
-She always wants me to apologize to my friends when we are in a fight and she doesn't even know what happened.
-I can't be friends with boys
I didn't write down every thing and theres lots more
And heres a question I posted about my mom BEFORE:
I know this isn't much but
And I do talk to her. Sometimes I'm like why are you making me going to summer school, and other stuff. And shes like its good for you. And i'm thinking thats wasting money. Then I keep talking about it and she gets mad and we start a fight. she screams at me i scream at her.
Essence | 7 days ago
Well, you are not 14 yet, judging by your post, so I would have to agree on SOME caution with boys because they are really only concerned about one thing if they are looking at girls at that age. Being serious, they just have not been alive long enough to know how you are supposed to treat a woman, which is nothing like how you treat your guy friends. It is better to be protected from that then to have some little boy who thinks he's a man because he got a little stubble on his crotch screw up your expectations and future relationships with more mature men later on in your life. We can be very cruel at that age.
But not allowing you to have any boy friends does you a disservice because you need to learn how to interact with them. Not all boys are scum after all, and we do make up half the population on the planet. Little early to date yet, yeah, I would agree with that. To early to have a boy or two that your friends with, going to have to side with you on that one.
You can marry whomever you wish to marry. Once you are 18, they cannot say or do anything to stop you from marrying who you choose. They may not be happy about it, and they don't have to come or help pay for the wedding, but they can't forbid you to marry someone just because he is a different race. This is the 21st century, that kind of thinking just doesn't work anymore. Jim Crow has been dead for decades now.
Telling you you cannot have a crush on someone is like telling the sun not to set. If love and our emotions were that easy to control, we would be robots walking around. It is part of the normal growing up process as you start to mature to develop crushes on guys. You may not be able to act on them, which is not always a bad thing (again, guys can be cruel and very narrow minded at that age), but nothing says you have to tell her about a crush that you have either. Its part of growing up.
The schooling part I think may have something to do with her own experiences growing up. Kids, as a general rule, do not realize how important education is because it is provided for free. But it is one of the few true luxuries in life that people mortgage their lives for and fight and die in other countries so that their kids can have half of the education that you get provided at the governments expense here in the US. Part of this extreem focus on schooling is probably just to keep you away from boys, as I am sure you suspect, and keep you out of the house. Unfortunately you do not have much of a choice in that matter at the moment, so I would seriously encourage you to take advantage of the extra schooling. Yes, it does suck that you have to do through all this extra school. But you can either choose to get upset about it, or embrace it because it WILL make your life much easier down the road. One obvious way? It will look good on your college applications, which will give you your pick of colleges, so you can get a good one, out of state, and get out of her house. On top of that, you can get scholarships and grants so that you will not have to owe this woman anything for your education. And that will be a very liberating feeling. You will be your own woman.
Get a job, it will get you out of the house, and into the world where you can earn a little money for yourself. Think of it like getting paid to stay away from your mother. She can't yell at you for failing or screwing off if you are bringing home more money than she is.
At 13, probably still a little to early for makeup. Going to be plenty of time for that later, and really, there are enough battles for you to fight to add this one to the pile. Trust me, as a guy, we can take make up or leave it. Bottom line is, if we are going to date you, we want to date you and not your make up. Now when you hit 15 or 16, you have some reason to protest because now we are in high school, and you are becoming a woman and part of that entails being able to put on a little make up every now and then. But 13? Don't sweat the small stuff. Same for the tying the hair up. Personally, I think you should be able to wear your hair how you like it. Hair is an important means of self expression to women, and at 13, you are perfectly capable of deciding how you want your hair within reason. No mohawks or bright purple spikes with orange highlights. But if you want to braid it, whats the problem?
It sounds to me like your mother is under a lot of stress, and it does seem from your accounting that you do bear the brunt of that stress, although I would figure that if we had your brothers on here, they would tell a different yet similar story about how her stress factors into their lives. I read from your previous question that your mother is in a lot of pain from a back injury and cannot get a job herself. That could be a partial explanation as to her constant mood she seems to be in, as being in pain is a proven way of making someone very testy and irritable. No
I lived with an abusive dad for most of my life. And this is a somewhat less severe version of what I went through. You need to talk to your dad. It sounds like he has a better grip on parenting at the moment than your mom. She might be depressed too. Family counseling would be a good idea. I definitely think she's taking out her frustrations on you. If she wants you to get a job, do something you like. As in maybe volunteering at an animal shelter. then she can't say you lay around all day. and the whole marring same race thing, that's just wrong. she can't keep you from your fiance. remember that at fourteen that means like what? 4-5 years till college? freedom! oh and some guys like girls who don't wear makeup. jsyk
That's not funny at all, I find it incredibly sad your mom would want to do that to you. Its horrible. You should tell somebody asap, things like this easily turn on to something else and it can eventually go on to a bigger case of abuse if your mom doesn't care about cutting your hair when shes angry, she shouldn't be a mother if she can't control things in a much better and calmer way, shes really out of order for doing that. Tell a family member you trust, a friends parent, or a school guidance counselor. Nobody should have to deal with that. Just tell somebody as soon as you can.
wow i see why your frustrated, and i would feel exactly like you! why dont u stick ot the man though why do u need to tell your mother everything ay ;)? or just say look mother im going to do this and u cant stop me i bet she wanted to do exactly the same things as you want to now and its perfectly natural to hang out with guys and get crushes on them its what happenes we are humans after all and we are the same species and the same species attract one an other otherwise we wouldn't be here! so tell her to shut the uck up and go out and doo what you want to do! you dont have to tell her you have a crush you dont have to tell her you have guy friends you dont have to tell her you have fights! i think shes just being over protective and once u can show that you are mature enough to do these things she will let you but you will have to fight for it untill then!
try to make a compromise with ur mom like... to hear you out and give advice not demands or tell her if you let ur hair down 2wice a week. not to be a let down but i feel srry for you the only rule i have that is same as you is i can't DATE until im 16 but i can go out with him with a group of friends until im 14or 15 hope i helped
You need to show your mum that you can be trusted otherwise you can expect her to allow you to do things that she believes are bad for you. If she still doesnt allow you to do any of these things when you have showed her your sensible then remember you wont always have to follow her rules most of your life will be spent doing what you want to do so dont worry too much!