Do parents have a right to act like this?
Topic: Is there a homework machine
July 17, 2019 / By Jakki Question:
So I just put my pants in the washing machine for school tomorrow because I forgot to do my laundry today. My mom had woken up because the dog was barking and she went to see what she was barking at. Well I brought my pants in there and she started bitching at me about how I should have done my laundry when I got home. I calmly told her I was sorry and I had forgotten. Then she just started getting even madder for some reason and just wouldn't let it go. I'm not one of those horrible kids who disrespect their parents and don't do anything they tell them to. I'm a pretty good kid. I do my homework, clean my room and bathroom, do my own laundry, etc. Everything she tells me to do, I do it without question. It just so happened to forget to do my laundry today and she was being so rude to me and was raising her vioce to me and just would not let it go. So I said "I just told you I forgot to do it. That's why I didn't do it earlier." And she started saying how I never respect her, I never respect anybody, I never do anything I'm told, and I just have an attitude all the time. I told her "well you're getting an attitude with me, I'm just defending myself. All I said was I forgot to do my laundry." And she told me that she's allowed to disrespect me and get mad because she's the parent, but apparently, it's not okay for me to even try to defend myself because I'm the kid. It just hurts my feelings. She always gets like this. She never appreciates anything that I do around the house. My step dad doesn't either. Then, when I forget to do something, she tells me stuff about how I never do anything I'm told and how disrespectful and ungreatful I am and just gets so mad at me and is mean to me and I can't even defend myself or I'm being a brat. I never say anything out of the way to her when she tells me to do something, I obey. I just don't see what I'm doing so wrong. Does she have a right to act like this or do I deserve it?
Best Answers: Do parents have a right to act like this?
Enya | 2 days ago
She's an adult and has the right to act however she wants. You're the child, she's the parent. You have to play by her rules. It's her house and her water bill for washing a single pair of pants using a whole load's worth of water. When you have your own kids, then you can make the rules, but until then you just need to accept that there may be reasons for her seemingly inappropriate anger.
👍 232 | 👎 2
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Originally Answered: Do parents exaggerate the joys of parenthood? Does having kids make parents delusional?
Well, first the obvious answer: what parent is going to give the message to their kid "having you was the worst decision of my life"? Second, I think it's impossible to separate the kids' own preconceived notions of parenting-- based on their childhood-- from what the parent says. I think kids are going to judge of parenting on their own experience of their family: if my home life was fun, my parents seemed content and kids were well-rounded, I'm going to see parenting as a good thing.
The other explanation is that parents want a healthy lifestyle of integrity and stability for their children-- the American dream. So even if the parents' own experience of marriage and parenting weren't 100% positive, they still envision this "ideal life" for their children.
You shouldn't have told her that you were defending yourself because she was getting an attitude with you.
You have no idea what is going on with her, what she's dealing with, etc. You should have just let her rant, completed your laundry and moved on. Instead, you got an attitude with her. I agree...it's not great she went off on you but I can bet that it really didn't have much to do with you or not doing the laundry.
Why do you say you had to defend yourself? From what? Your mother wasn't accusing you of anything except not doing your laundry. If she said you were disrespectful...you may want to think about it. You say you do your chores...but only when you're told to.
It sounds like you're her outlet...again, not the best outlet to have...but it sounds like she has something going on that you aren't aware of. Understand that she can't tell you about it because she doesn't want to dump on you...maybe it's something to do with her and your stepdad.
i guess what I'm saying is...sometimes parents screw up and don't realize what they're doing.
Maybe ask her how her day is going...spend some time with her, get to know her. Do something for her just because.
Also, talk to a counselor at school.
👍 100 | 👎 -7
Just bear in mind that the washing machine had caused the dog to bark and that woke your mother up. People aren't at their best, if their sleep's disturbed, so at a guess I'd say that you got a mouthful you might not have got at a different time of day. Try to see it as a one-off. If people do all the right things, other family members tend to take it for granted, but if they do the wrong thing, the others can get upset about it. Tell your mother you're sorry she was woken up and say you'll do your best to remember your washing the next time.
👍 99 | 👎 -16
From what you say you didn't deserve it; however she is the parent. People act out for different reasons, maybe she was having a bad night & your undone laundry set her off. But for future notice, when she starts yelling: don't respond unless she asks you something. Don't say anything because you may not see it, but you may have had a bit of an attitude & she took that as disrespect. It's sad, but she's the adult & you're the child. Just deal with it and when you have your own kids you will deal with them in your own way.
All you had to do say was "Yes, Mom. I'm sorry and it won't happen again" then wash your clothes.
That's your mom and she has a right to fuss at you, nothing happened to you & you're fine.
👍 98 | 👎 -25
Maybe she is upset from something at work, or is having relationship problems with someone or people. My dad takes it out on me a lot for no reason. He says I am irresponsible and I don't pull my weight around the house. He asked me to do something once and for the very first time I said I would like to do it tomorrow and he said "it's always tomorrow!" That was the very first time in my life I asked him if I could do it the next day.
Your parents probably just find you annoying because they find you falling distant for no apparent reason. They don't realize that this happens to almost every teenager as our brains develop. Or maybe they used to give you chores but now they don't, evn though you do chores on your own they don't see this. They have the right to act like that, but only if you act like that. You don't deserve it and it doesn't help anyone at all, except them because it relieves their stress yelling. Just know your attitude is better than their attitudes, once you hit an age or move out they will respect you more.
👍 97 | 👎 -34
Originally Answered: How to convince my parents to let me sleep over at a friend's house? Asian parents?
First, ask about your curfew. That will make sleeping at a friend's not so bad. Be sure to let your parents know your friend's parents will be there, and make sure you have a safe way to get hone to her house. Ask them when they're in a good mood! Don't mention the homework until either you're in the bargaining phase, or they ask about. Be prepared to show the finished product to them.