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What do you think of this poem??

What do you think of this poem?? Topic: Different way of writing a word
May 24, 2019 / By Hadassah
Question: Scattery and Such: I have long since written in this vein. So much has gone, yet so much remains. Who am I? Who have I become? Some parts I like, much I would prefer undone. What is love? How does one nurture this blessing? It seems the most difficult fact of life, filled with wonder yet distressing. Which road will be the one I decide? What will be the way I will provide? I have discovered true friends are few. Deceivers and traitors are everywhere...I eschew. What is the point of this word virtually written? It speaks of change, relation, career, and being backbitten. It is a lot like my life. A bit scattered...a bit spliced.
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Best Answers: What do you think of this poem??

Dixy Dixy | 8 days ago
i love it! but i would make it like this: Scattery and Such I have long since written in this vein So much has gone, yet so much remains Who am I? Who have I become? Some parts I like, much I would prefer undone What is love? How does one nurture this blessing? It seems the most difficult fact of life, filled with wonder yet distressing Which road will be the one I decide What will be the way I will provide I have discovered true friends are few Deceivers and traitors are everywhere...I eschew What is the point of this word virtually written It speaks of change, relation, career, and being backbitten It is a lot like my life A bit scattered...a bit spliced P.S. it's the same but in different lines =)
👍 184 | 👎 8
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Dixy Originally Answered: Harsh crtisism needed.poem? Also feel free to add to my poem too?
Kenny is wrong, a poem does not have to rhyme...do not buy in to that. This from a 15 year old? You have the yearning heart of a poet to be heard.......KEEP WRITING. ma
Dixy Originally Answered: Harsh crtisism needed.poem? Also feel free to add to my poem too?
In the interest of meeting harshness requirements I won't praise your work too much. There are very few writers in here who should ever write anything at all much less attempt poetry but you might actually be a poet.

Carlie Carlie
It sounds a lot like my life.... I understand what you are saying, and I think you have done a great job...if you REALLY want honest opinions of it and where it should be improved, submit it into the poetry section.....you will get loads of help in there. *pats you on the back*
👍 70 | 👎 -1

Andriana Andriana
At first I was gonna say it seemed like you were jumping from one subject to another but now i see what you were trying to do. I liked it.
👍 63 | 👎 -10

Andriana Originally Answered: Please read poem I just made(kinda a venting poem)?
The rhyme scheme seems a little up and down throughout, you sort of seemed to have chosen when rhymes work and ignored them if they won’t fit. The problem is that there is no pattern to it and therefore this confuses the flow of the poem. The short lines (usually after or before) don’t fit the poem. There are too few syllables in these lines compared to the other lines in the poem. This disrupts the flow of the poem. You could possible use short lines if you used them at the end of a stanza (or start). Sort of as an introduction or conclusion line for each stanza. Couple of grammar/spelling fixes … it is “looking THROUGH a clear LENS”. Don’t and other words similar are missing the ‘. The line “they say courage is a piece of cake I got pie” doesn’t fit well with me. Firstly I have never heard that courage is a piece of cake, and then saying I got pie doesn’t really make any sense. You would be better using a simile or metaphor to describe your shyness or lack of confidence in expressing yourself openly. Lastly I would say the imagery is lacking a little in the poem too. Being a first write I tend to re-read my poems numerous times before finalizing them. Read them aloud to check the flow too.

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