How can I keep my relationship from doom?
Topic: Language case sensitive means
May 24, 2019 / By Gwenneth Question:
I really love my boyfriend. We've been living together for almost a year now.
Lately it seems like things have been going down hill. He got a new job that's very labor intensive and physically exhausting. I know he's very tired when he gets home... but he doesn't seem to be interested in sex anymore. He either avoids my attempts completely (like if I hold his hand and lead him to the bedroom, he'll just kiss me on the forehead and walk away) or he'll say something like "I would, but I'm too tired right now." He's assured me it's nothing personal, because I asked if he wasn't attracted to me anymore. He says it has absolutely nothing to do with me.
However, since he's gotten this new job, we've started getting into more bickering fights over little things. It just seems like one or both of us is either "too tired" or in a bad mood about something, and we keep getting on each others' nerves.
I'm also particularly sensitive to the fact that he seems to criticize me a lot, and NEVER dishes out compliments. If I clean up occasionally I'll get a "hey, it looks good in here" but that's it. I feel like I'm always being loving towards him and telling him how much he means to me or how proud I am of him for the tough work he's doing at his new job... but I'm never getting any of it back. He never tells me I look attractive or that I'm special to him somehow. He just never compliments me period.
I feel like all of it's starting to take a toll on me. I don't know if he's intentionally pushing away or if I'm being overly sensitive. How can I keep this relationship from going sour? And how can I get from him the kind of affection and verbal reassurance I would like?
All I really want is for him to initiate sex at least 2-3x a week and for him to appreciate me (especially vocally) a little bit more.
Best Answers: How can I keep my relationship from doom?
Dindraine | 1 day ago
I'm in the same boat! Ha ha, but its 4 years now :-) Only difference is, mine is out of work - but in school - and just not interested in sex at all. If he's getting it somewhere else, he's damn good at hiding it LOL so I really don't think that is the case. Is yours an only child? Mine is, and he's used to getting that affection but never had to learn to give it. I am not a nagging person, and DO NOT WANT TO BE. I will however get to the point you are at and ask if he cares at all about me and my feelings... its just a little reminder - and works wonderfully!
Once you're together for a good long period of time - like ya'll - things get comfortable and patterned.. which is the worst thing for romance and "being in love"
you should both sit down and talk about your expectations regarding your future - not in a "if we don't do this I'm leaving" type thing but just a good conversation. Talk about what you need to feel appreciated - read "Languages of Love" And read it together - it talks about finding out how someone feels/needs love and makes you aware of your own actions and your role in making them feel that.
Good Luck :-D don't be afraid to talk though -- I wasted 3 years not talking... and it almost ruined my relationship, he's your partner... tell him!
👍 170 | 👎 1
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We found more questions related to the topic: Language case sensitive means
Originally Answered: Is a relationship defined by the courtship that takes place in the beginning of a relationship?
First I really like your question
In my personal opinion...you can use it if you want...
Relationships are not simply defined by the courtship period. They are defined throughout the entire relationship because people change; their views, their feelings, even their home life and occupation. Everything within both of their lives is a defining factor...from where they met to where they live now. It is not just our feelings, but our attitudes, our views, and but ultimately our feelings and respect for the other person which can change over time.
You can research, but there are many people who were forced into a marriage thinking, "holy crap! I cannot possibly love this person..every!" But as their relationship grows, so can their love!
Tell him how you feel more than just once.
You both sound like a married couple.
Try talking to him when he gets home
run him a bubble bath or fix him something that
he likes as in his favorite food. Take your frustrations out on
giving him a massage.
If he refuses all these methods then that means he could be cheating.
if he does not listen to you he has no respect for you or your feelings.
👍 70 | 👎 -8
ok, treat him just the way he does to you, be cold with him and never ask for sex again and if he really is still in love with you he will feel the difference, he will ask you what's going on and this way you both will have a long talk and clarify things up every one of you explainning his needs, if not and he goes on the way he is, you have to consider the fact that sometimes with time feelings get colder and even vanish.
👍 70 | 👎 -17
This kind of behavior is what lead to the breakup between my sister and her boyfriend of two years a while back. I would urge you to try to talk to him, figure out what's really going on.
👍 70 | 👎 -26
Try to REALLY talk to him.Tell him how you feel.Make sure you spend time toghter.Try to show him how much you appricate him,and try to make him appricate you.Make sure he isnt interested in other women.If that doesnt work,ask him does he still want to be in the relationship.
👍 70 | 👎 -35
Originally Answered: Pregnant, but unhappy in my relationship. Should I stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of my child?
Leave him now. I'm not being cruel, but you sound so ridiculously smart and savvy that this guy will hold you back and be a drain on you for your entire life. When your kid is born you will be the sole breadwinner and you will be looking after two children (number 2 being your fiance) This is not a rough patch, it was clear from the beginning what this guy was al about but you are used to stepping up and handling situations. This guy wants a mother not a wife. Deep down you already know the answer to this question. Kick him out and finish it. Do not stay together for the sake of your child, because your child will have a much better life, with you, the responsible adult, rather than a stressed out overworked mom who fights all the time with her husband. YOu know the right thing to do, you know it. You just need someone to agree with you. You're parents can't be honest with you over this, they are from a different egeneration. The kind the stuck it out in unhappy marriages for the sake of it.
Go your own way and shine!!!