How is this Story Plot & Characters Summary Looking?
Topic: The sisters short story theme ideas
July 18, 2019 / By Francine Question:
I know its a long read, but I'd be quite happy if you could give me some critique on this idea. Partially on originality but primarily on how interesting it seems, or maybe if it seems like I'm trying to get too much into it. Any comments will be appreciated. :)
The story is set about 2 years after random people worldwide started turning into Vampires, and 6 months after Werewolves began appearing. Due to his seemingly random event people all over the world have been forced to hole up, and for the most part they have done so in large groups. Already people know a lot about the Vampires, and they are generally not too big of a problem.
The vampires are essentially just human beings which need blood to live. They still need to eat normal food at less regular intervals, and they still breath and drink water, but they need something from human blood to keep going. Normally a vampire’s strength is not augmented, neither is its speed or agility. However their metabolism does increase which allows them to build muscle at a faster rate, IF they are working for it. However, moments after drinking human blood a vampire is given a very short but very extreme spike in physical capabilities. Their physical powers grow immensely and the duration and the level of growth is dictated by the amount of blood, and purity of blood drunk.
Vampires hunt at night, and generally stalk their prey from a distance. Eventually they then take out vials of blood and drink them before utilizing the little time they have to capture their prey. Most of the time vampires will capture prey because it allows them to keep them alive and subsequently harvest their blood.
However, the main problem for Vampires and Humans alike is the Werewolves. The werewolves seemingly appeared out of nowhere as opposed to the vampires which were once people. But the werewolves pose a serious problem because they are far faster, stronger and more dangerous than all other species. Thankfully they are ludicrously individualistic and do not travel in packs or pairs. Another positive is that they are very poor hunters, they generally capture their prey by simply tearing through the city at breakneck speeds and killing anything that moves.
A vampire is capable of matching a Werewolf in battle but only after ingesting an extreme amount of human blood.
One of the key elements of the world is that it is now constantly changing, and new things are popping up all over the place.
PS – The werewolves aren’t people. They’re just human like wolf things, they think like animals and etc. However in the story it is gradually revealed that the wolves are beginning to form personalities and later on they gain the ability to turn into humans.
The plot follows four different people all living in the same area. The remaining inhabitants of the city all live in a ‘safehouse’, which is essentially just a large building with large underground facilities.
They’ve managed to somehow fit more than 400 people there, and have been surviving for the past year. One of the plots follows Amin, a middle aged doctor who made his way back to this city in search of his brother. After entering the city he finds somewhere to bunker down at night but is disturbed when he awakes to gunfire nearby. He investigates and finds someone injured. He saves the man’s life by killing the vampire which was trying to kill him. The man directs Amin back to his base and once there they allow Amin to stay because he has a valuable skill. His plot will mainly center around him trying to find a new meaning to his life.
Another plotline follows Mindy and Peter, who are 12 year olds. They live at the aforementioned base, Mindy is an orphan and is haunted by strange dreams. Peter is also orphaned but his older sister and her boyfriend are acting as his immediate guardians. They found Mindy on their way to the shelter, and despite not knowing her they have welcomed her into their group. Their story follows Peter’s attempts to help Mindy forget her dreams, and her attempts to find out what they mean.
Another plotline follows Mindy’s older sister’s boyfriend Alistair.
The driving force in the story is the battle for supremacy between the humans and the vampires, and how the people in the story deal with its effects. The story is also about everyone trying to fully understand the world that they live in.
Thanks for reading.
It needs Zombies? Funny, I was trying to stay away from that but something similar does pop up later in the story.
I understand how you feel about vampires, and to some extent I feel similarly as well, but I think had you read on you most likely would have realized that I'm not utilizing vampires in the same way that the MAJORITY of amateur writers do. In my story they pretty much act as simply another race that's at war with our own. And even away from that I made them quite human-like and normal because I feel that makes them more relateable and it allows the reader to actually feel worry for them because in my story they are in fact also being hunted and for the most part are equally as vulnerable to humans.
Regardless, thank you for attempting to read it.
Thank you, that's actually a solid point. I think the reason why I called them vampires was simply because to begin with I took the vampire concept and meddled with it as much as I could. But I'm certain I'm going to change their names now, thanks. :)
Hmmm, that's interesting. When I think about it I can kind of see the similarities. I think that the key differences between my story and Underworld is that in my story there is more of a feeling of conflict between two groups on relatively equal ground. In the Underworld series a single vampire was a massive threat whereas in my story a single vampire could be handled by a single person even hand to hand. And asides from that my story has a lot more magical elements to it that begin to come in later.
Thanks for reading, and I'll keep your comment in mind and try to ensure that the similarities end at the three way battle of the races.
Best Answers: How is this Story Plot & Characters Summary Looking?
Darby | 6 days ago
Not a bad start. One thing I would change is what you call the creatures. Vampires and Werewolves are legends--people have preconceptions about them. You can change a couple of those with a mention of "oh, that no reflection in the mirror thing is a myth", but it seems you are creating a couple new races of creatures that are similar to but not quite vampires and werewolves. So why not call them something else and describe the beasties to us, rather than filling our heads with preconceptions and then saying, well THESE vampires can't fly, but they can ignore crosses. You want to suck the readers into your world, not have them thinking about how your vampires are different from others. The difference between Twilight and True Blood and Dracula vampires is something you want talked about when people are done reading, not thought about while reading. If you are making your vampires and werewolves too weird, give them a different name.
After seeing MLFW's comment, he has a point too. You may want to change even more details. Why drink blood, you could steal/harness the life force or something. You can keep the same themes and plots while changing ALL the details. Stranger in a Strange Land is, when boiled down to a three sentence summary, the same story as Tarzan except that Mars and Martians are swapped in for Africa and apes. Once the story started rolling around the author's mind, it became something new. A critic can point out the similarities between the characters, themes and plot, but they are very different stories.
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Originally Answered: On average how long does it take to edit a novel for plot holes, Characters, and story development?
It depends on many variables. How often u work on it and how much editing u have to do. I rarely find plot holes in my work because everything is planned. I suggest it if u can. It helps me a lot to write a quick summary that can later be molded into a synopsis, and a query letter that can latter be molded into a blurb if u publish online or edited into a perfect query if u plan to send out to agents. I write both before I start the novel. The synopsis keeps me on track so I don't get stuck trying to figure out what happens next and the query is used to help spot plot holes before I even write. The query has been useful a few times because if I can't get my query to make sense then it points to a flaw in my plot and I've been able to change my plot before I even start the story. This saves times because you don't want to get halfway through the novel and have to rewrite because of a plot flaw. Nip it before u start by writing a query letter first. Query only has 2b useful, not perfect.
I had to stop reading after the word vampires. The world really doesn't need anymore vampire stories. Comments on originality? Choose a topic that hasn't been done to death and repeatedly used as the go-to subject by every amateur writer.
Edit- You can dress it up whichever way you want, call them whatever name you want, people will read this and think "so they're basically vampires but not called vampires . . . huh." I've read many stories exactly like this and do you know what? It was so obvious that the author was trying to avoid the V word that I just couldn't take them NOT being called Vampires. Call a spade a spade. In fact, writers who come along and think they can make vampires original again is even more unoriginal than just writing an honest vampire book. I'm not saying any of this to be a jerk, just to tell you what a potential reader might think about your story. I'll tell you another thing, too. You can clearly write well. Way better than the amateur writers I mentioned. You could easily put your talents to better use.
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It's not a film. It can be an particularly practical re-enactment. There isn't a plot. When you didn't know who Jesus was, the film would make no sense . I have some friends in Japan from when I lived there several years ago. Christianity isn't very well understood over there, about as well as Shintoism is known in the States. They determined the violence fascinating, however didn't know who he was once, why he used to be being tortured and accomplished, or why they will have to care.
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One word - "Underworld!" This has already been done for the most part! It's so close it could almost be considered plageristic in nature...Just sayin!
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