My older sister is making it so hard to be close to my family? help please. its long but please i need help.?
Topic: The sisters wardrobe
July 19, 2019 / By Francene Question:
ok so im 16 years old.
my older sister is 22.
she makes in literally impossible for me to be happy at home.
so she has this issue with her stuff in her room.
and she thinks that if one little thing is missing in her bedroom its me that took it. so when she comes home like at 2 in the morning shell throw the biggest fit and yell and scream for her stuff. and ill be sleeping but shell wake me up for it. even if i do take her stuff once and a while to borrow ill always give it back but thats not the point. shes the biggest hypocrite ever. like she has almost my whole wardrobe that she stole in her bedroom. and i see it but i can never take it back even tho its MINE and i should be able to. no i cant because i need sleep for school and i cant hear yelling in the middle of the night cuz ill be awake the whole rest of the night. and if i ask if maybe me and my siste could go through our stuff one by one and see if anythings mine and i can take all my stuff back shes like NO! and she freaks out. so i can never buy clothes cuz theres no point shell just steal them!
she makes it impossable to be close to my family.
there so many reasonsmy but shes 22 years old. and she has to get up for work and stuff in the morning and so do my parents. so when i have sleepovers me and my friends try to have fun and laugh and have a good time. my parents need to get up for work to and there fine with how we act. ok but i notice my sister always finds reasons to go downstairs and like find stuff to do she listens in on our conversations and stuff and will make comments and if we start laughing shell freak out and think were laughing at her. so hell go upstairs WAKE my parents up and say were being mean making comments as she walks by and just manipulates my parents into thinking im the bad person.
she also got out of rehab and isnt supposed to be dating. and she has a specific cerphew/
well on the weeknights my dad will call and yell at her waiting for her to come home. and when she does she just makes an argument with my parents screams and yells so sometimes i wake up and can never get back to sleep cuz of her. and then im to tired for school and its like shes 22 like if shes gonna do this she shouldnt even live here.
so it makes everything impossible. like i cant let myself be close to them cause of this. idk what to do. talking doesnt help. you cant have a normal conversation with her without her yelling she yells over you to she wont let you talk
Best Answers: My older sister is making it so hard to be close to my family? help please. its long but please i need help.?
Danni | 4 days ago
I very much doubt your parents think you're the bad person. That doesn't mean I think they are handling this well, because they're not, but when parents have a kid who gets addicted and ends up in rehab, almost all of them will second guess everything they did and said while raising her. The result? Guilt. And this is one reason why they're not enforcing boundaries with her. The other reason is that they're afraid if they're too "mean" to her, she'll go out and use again. I've seen these dynamics a million times, because I'm a substance abuse counselor.
The problem is they're enabling her to continue her self-absorbed behavior. If she's breaking rehab rules, then she clearly has no intention of staying sober. And if your parents don't wise up, in 10 years she'll be still living at home and acting worse (assuming her addiction doesn't kill her in the meantime).
This is a lot for a 16 year old to handle. If you think it will help, feel free to print this and show it to your parents. If I could talk to them, I would tell them that, like every addict/alcoholic on the planet, she will never get better until she stops trying to control every situation around her. They need to sit down with her and develop a sane set of family rules, with clearcut consequences if she breaks them (mainly items like cell phone, car, computer, whatever). This should include help around the house and financial contributions if she's not going to school. And, most of all, especially if she's not in a support program of some sort and going to meetings, she should agree to random drug or alcohol tests. Your parents really need to wake up - she's either using again or she's about to. And some tough love is going to have to be tossed her way. They should not be giving her any money whatsoever, either. They're crippling her by letting this continue.
👍 196 | 👎 4
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We found more questions related to the topic: The sisters wardrobe
Originally Answered: I'm really close to my older sister?
Absolutely not! That's the way my mom is with her sister, and I have a brother so I wouldn't know from personal experience, but according to my mom, that's what sisters are for:D
She sounds like she is self centred and a very selfish person. She need to grow up and stop taking things on you for her personal problems. Your parents are supposed to support you and not your sis becos she is old enough to know better. I think your parents defend her b/c she get away with abuse and they want peace and quiet.
Try to find time alone with your parents (pref when your sis is out) and talk to them how you feel. If that doesn't work, tell your teacher at school, they mite to be able to suggest something for you to try at home. Tell them your sis have most of your things and you would like them back so could they be around when you get your stuff back. I am really sorry your going thru this, it must be depressing for you at times. Don't borrow nothing from her.
One more thing, try to talk to your sister without accusing/blaming. It's about how you say it with the right tone of the voice. something like this, i feel tired all the time and i need sleep so i can go to school happy. I would love it if you would not wake me up.
I do hope it works for you.
👍 80 | 👎 -5
Totally ignore her, especially when shes in good moods and being nice, shes not important anymore, just convince yourself that, and she may find herself missing you, or the drugs damaged her so much that she has no love of self or others right now.
Im sorry, sounds horrid, all you can do is what you can do. Tell mom that this sister has not only ruined the family but you now would like to move with relatives so that you can be treated nicely, that this is too much for them to expect you to deal with. Your life should not be ruined becuase she chose to ruin hers.
👍 77 | 👎 -14
She is being protecting because of way which you have taken care of her interior the previous. stay extreme high quality to her and permit her to permit down her shield. even though it particularly is needed that as quickly as she finally starts off warming as much as you, which you do no longer revert back on your previous techniques and be nasty together with her. in any different case she would be in a position to get harm and could no longer believe you for an prolonged time. manage people the way which you will possibly choose to be taken care of.
👍 74 | 👎 -23
i had the same problem wit my 25 year old brother don't let it get too you it'll stop if she gets clean if it doesn't talk too your parent shes like 22 she should have her own place anyways.
👍 71 | 👎 -32
Originally Answered: What is the equivalent of Oppa in chinese? it means older brother, like a really close family friend?
(Assuming you mean in Mandarin Chinese for pronunciation, here are what you can call people not in your family)
For "big brother", a very respectable one is 大哥 （da4 ge1)
For little brother, it would be 小第 (xiao3 di4), but apparently that shows you consider that person to be much lower in status than you, so, not very respectable...
Older sister, 大姐 (da4 jie3). I am not much aware of the level of respect given to that particular one... (Most of my female friends here are younger than me, and even the older ones prefer when I use some form of 'little sister', 妹 [mei4, like 小妹 or 妹妹]，when addressing them)
I must admit however, I am no well versed in the language you are referring to (Japanese?), so I can't be sure I am giving you an appropriate equivalent.