Why am I different than everyone else?
Topic: Is problem solving a characteristic
May 24, 2019 / By Florrie Question:
I am 19 years old. I go to college, I live in my house with my parents during breaks. My older brother and sister both have moved out by now. My family is 100% Italian and catholic. We go to church every Sunday. We eat at Italian restaurants. The problem? I hate it. I hate going out to dinner with them. To me, those dinner conversations about the news and family and whatever else is extremely boring to me. I hate church. I am not catholic I am agnostic. I choose to go to church with them to avoid all hell breaking loose if I refuse to go. I would rather tune out with my iPod during long car rides than talk to them. It all just bores me. I hardly pay attention. This doesn't only apply to them it applies to everyone. I guess I don't act my age. I would rather stay home alone and watch Netflix than go next door for a surprise party for my mom's birthday that she doesn't even want. I really don't care. I look forward to nights that I get to eat dinner alone because my parents are going out somewhere. I look forward to solitude. The thing is, my family has a one way mind set. They think that if you step away from the family party for 10 minutes that you are anti-social. They think that if you want to stay in your pajamas all day that you are lazy. They say that if you don't help with every single chore and always put others before you that you are selfish (and I have been called selfish many times by them). They think that if you don't put all of your effort into finding a Christmas gift for mom and dad that you are irresponsible. My question is why? Not only am I different than my family, but I am different than society as a whole. Why? What happens to people that cause them to diverge from the normal way of thinking. I'm starting to not like Christmas because it's so over dramatized and I find the idea of getting presents for every single member of your family a ridiculous "obligation". I want to know if it makes me a bad person for not caring about my family and for not having an interest in them. I like my friends of course because I can relate to them. But I feel like I can't relate to my family at all. Every time I hear that we're going to so an so's house for Christmas eve or we're going out to here on this date fills me with dread. I just want to be able to do the things that I like so I don't have to resort to other unhealthy things. I've tried to go along with their lifestyle but it just isn't me. So who ever thinks they're daring enough to try to solve this jigsaw puzzle please, you would be doing a desperate girl a huge favor.
Best Answers: Why am I different than everyone else?
Damia | 7 days ago
Differenter. More non-aligned. less conventional, more cognitive than communal, more heuristic, less homogenizing.
There are many other possible adjective terms.
What it boils down to is that each person is unique, and part of everything. Some are just unique-er. The general advice about growing up has some truth because the emerging adult struggles against current restraints, and the restraints of adulthood haven't been felt yet, or adjusted to.
There is so much variation around the center of any curve that plots characteristics of any large sample, that generalization has limited value.
If you wish to maximize the value of this current situation, and the future situations you create in the interactions between yourself, and everything else, you can do so. The way to do that is to become focused on realities that are common to all life situations, and then lean to apply them to specific instances. That's a mouthful. Let me give you an example from another field.
Many of the toys we take for granted nowadays like instant communication around the world, radar, and visual images from satellites, discoveries from Hubble, Cassini, Curiosity, Jade Rabbit, would be impossible without the focused attention on gravitational attraction that Isaac Newton made possible with his six symbol formula. The news is that there is a six word formula that focuses attention on the common elements of all life situations. Anyone who is familiar with that formula, and uses it, can quickly penetrate the daily cacophony and see the patterns that are operating, and, more significantly, see paths to creating value in any particular situation.
What you can do, as a member of a traditional, Catholic, Italian family is to familiarize yourself with the formula, its background, and application methods, in secret. Since the formula arises out of Buddhism, and that is confusing to almost everyone, because they don't know that it just means 'the effort to awaken', you would need to do this familiarization in stealth mode.
Once you apply it, you will be more relaxed among your family, and in other situations. It will aid you in your college studies because it reduces brain friction, and your outside relationships because you can appreciate more aspects of reality, and you will win more often. You can become different, calm, responsible, appreciative all without tipping anyone off. You may choose to connect with other people who also use this method, and can.
Once you are displaying these abilities, some of the family may ask you how you did it. be careful in how you reveal the method, because the greatest fear most people have is to be different, and take responsibility for their own lives.
👍 182 | 👎 7
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We found more questions related to the topic: Is problem solving a characteristic
Doesn't sound weird at all. I don't think you're selfish or lazy, you're just in an age in which you need to detach yourself your family in order to find your true identity and to discover what you really like, think and are. When I was 19 I was trying to move out the house, and my mother was crying and calling me ungrateful for that, screaming "what did we do to you? Am I such a terrible mother that you cannot live with me anymore?" (I'm italian too, if it counts. So sorry if you find some grammar mistake). When I finally moved out to live with my boyfriend, my mother has been angry at me for three years. I think you just feel as most people feel when they're teens and they're obliged to live a life they're not sure it's their own. If you can take some part-time job and move out, that would be great for your health. And when you have had the time to live by yourself, and understand which kind of person are you and what suits you or not, family is not going to be a problem for you anymore, but a nice moment of security and love in a life that can be sometimes hard.
👍 70 | 👎 -2
1. You sound like an introvert. Introverts are perfectly normal people and there are many of them in society, not just you. You simply happen to be the sole introvert in a family of extroverts.
2. All introverts need coping skills to get along with family, work, school, etc. Sometimes, you do indeed need to challenge yourself to socialize out of love for your family or friends, rather than hiding in your jammies in front of Netflix.
3. You also have to learn to not let your tendency to be an introvert become an excuse. Introverts still need to pitch in and help with chores. Volunteer for the chores that can be done solo with your headphones on if you must, but don't shirk your family obligations just because you'd rather be off by yourself.
4. You also need a lesson in gift-giving. Is it an obligation? Sure. So what? In a family, people have all kinds of obligations to make the family healthy and happy, from closing the toilet seat when you're done to hanging up wet towels to not using up all the hot water when you shower. Birthday and Christmas presents are always a GIFT for SOMEBODY ELSE, so your effort reflects how much you care about the other person. That means if you're picking up a bag of chips and a bow at the quickie mart and trying to pass that off as a gift, you are insulting the person you are supposed to be honoring with your gift. Introverts rarely like shopping, but that's the beauty of shopping online! You need to put some effort into THINKING about and PLANNING for a gift (which you can do privately, all on your own) and then you can purchase the gift online without going to a store, wrap it nicely and successfully show somebody the right amount of love and care.
5. When you are out on your own and paying your own way in the world, you will have more control over how you do things, but in the meantime, you really need to compromise and work out coping mechanisms.
👍 64 | 👎 -11
I'm from Italy and when I was your age my parents didn't force me to go to church every Sunday morning, I believe in God but I don't attend Mass, it's not that every Italian has this habit.
When I was your age I didn't have dinner at restaurant with my parents on Sundays, I hung-out with friends.
A lot of Italians in Italy prefer to stay alone at home watching Netflix to have family parties.
I don't think you're that different by anyone else, just by your family.
👍 58 | 👎 -20
every infinite & eternal number of souls in eternity is different & has their own eternal personality if that makes sense
tell ur parents u'd rather stay in home and find ur own thing to do ;D, hobby or something
talk to ur parents
Italian families should be the best kind of family yay? or nay =p?
in my eyes u are blessed what what u have in ur present life ;D
EVERYONE will be & IS so different, which everyone will soon realize, that that very reason will be the reason to give earth's humanity harmony and peace
sure, some "tribes" won't agree with some, that's a naturaly thing for humans ;D
but earth is very diverse ! <3
try to find truth beauty & goodness in everything
God is pure true love and compassion, I'm from His home ;D
even tho I have no religion or "label" in my life
God's within my heart & I know all are one
I respect anyone who sins(my definition of sin is different tho from ur planet), I respect any & all
everything in ur reality is a reflection of who u are
be the change u wish to see in the world & trust ur within & thru it all k
👍 52 | 👎 -29
My kids are your age and I remember being your age. You are pretty much like most 19 year old young people. You are at the age where you want your now life buy can't yet afford it/manage it. Focus on whatever you need to get done in order to move out and have your own life. And try to have a ore positive and grateful outlook.
👍 46 | 👎 -38