Topic: Briefing a case steps
June 20, 2019 / By Evie Question:
ok so i'm 15 years old and i'm kinda new to the whole dating/relationship thing. I don't really know how to ask a girl out or if she likes me back or not. I don't really know how to keep a relationship going if i get into one, i'm not very good with starting and keeping conversations going and i'm really shy. Plus it doesn't exactly help that I have aspergers which kinda makes me really socially awkward amongst other things.
Can someone please just explain the basics to me because there's this girl i really like, I don't know whether she likes me or not but we are in the same music class, She always seems to be looking at me and whenever i look back at her she looks away. She nearly always agrees with everything i say and is always laughing/smiling at me. Whenever we walk by each other on the way to class she nearly always says hi.
I'm not sure if this means she likes me or not because she's a naturally outgoing/happy person. But one of her friends knows i like her and has been asking her questions, one of them being where she asked her if she would date my best friend, she said no but when her friend asked if she would date me she didn't answer. I don't know if this helps but yeah. I don't really have her number or anything and don't really talk much outside of music class except for the occasional hi and eye contact.
So how do i know if she likes me back? how do i ask her out? if she says yes how do i keep the relationship going? any info would help thanks :)
Collyn | 4 days ago
Relationships and dating are difficult even without a social learning Thing -- there is no flowchart of "if this, then this" you can follow. The best I can do is give you some basic guidelines. Keep in mind that these are only guidelines and should apply in most cases, but everyone is different and may respond differently.
(1) Keep things casual. Especially if you're not sure she likes you or you're shy. Saying something like, "Hey, would you like to go grab lunch with me sometime? I'm free this Saturday, are you?" is much more open and non-threatening than, "Would you go out with me?" The offer of going out for lunch is also useful because...
(2) ...It gives her an option. Something that she can say "Yes" or "No" to. This is easier than asking her, "What would you like to do?" That would put her on the spot and potentially cause awkwardness. And it doesn't have to be lunch! Think of something that you enjoy doing that she also enjoys doing or that you think she might enjoy doing. Food is almost always a safe bet. "Hanging out" works too, but you might want to specify: Go for a walk in the woods? Play chess? Play a video game? Watch a movie?
(3) The only real downside to the "Would you like to _________ with me sometime?" opener is that it's not always clear if the two of you will then be "going out." You may want to specify "just the two of us," which will make it clearer. Adding something like, "You seem like a really nice person and I'd really like to get to know you a bit better, you know...just us?" will make her feel good about herself. Even if she doesn't feel like it's a date, you still get to hang out and spend time with her, and she gets to spend time with you! And that's the first step to building something that will last, so bonus!
(4) Try not to worry about it. I know this is hard. Believe me. I know. But the worst thing that can happen is she'll say she isn't interested; she doesn't sound like the sort of person who would laugh in your face.
You seem like a sweet guy. I'm sure she's picked up on that, and from what you've listed here I think it's definitely possible that she's interested in you. You also seem really genuine, and trust me on this, most girls really value sincerity in guys. Keep that in mind if you two end up hanging out or getting lunch together, because if things do get awkward or conversation stalls, it will probably help if you tell her that you feel awkward a lot and you're not very good at keeping conversations going. Then ask if she ever feels like that.
One good way to always start up a conversation is to ask the other person something about themselves. People love talking about themselves. Listen to her answers, and when she's done answering your question (or even halfway through answering), ask her something about her answer! But don't be afraid to volunteer information about yourself.
Try to keep track of who is doing most of the talking. If it's her, try to think whether you're being TOO quiet. If it's you, maybe back off and let her talk more, or say something like, "Hey, I just realized I've been sitting here talking at you for ages. I'm really sorry, am I talking too much? I've never really done this before and I'm really nervous."
I realize this is a lot to take in, and I'm sorry. The truth is, there is no list of rules for this. The best and briefest advice I can give is also the most cliched: "Be yourself."
You're also going to get a lot of people telling you that you're too young to be thinking about dating. Hon, you're fine. Just don't get too serious. Keep a level head and you'll be fine.
Best of luck, buddy. I'm rooting for you!
first of all the liking two or more person thing is more common than you think. I mean really he is not in love with you or anything, probably dont know all that much about you or your friend let alone caring about you guys. For all he knows, you might not even notice he likes you. and since there isnt any personal level contact cant blame him to be looking around nothing to do with the player thing, he simply doesnt have any commitment to anyone well as far as to why you are attracted to him... well maybe you arent, maybe you are just excited by the prospect of a relationship its a very exciting through especially because you havent been in one imagining how being together will feel, anticipating how he will react or what hes thinking its all very addicting
well as for a girl, you can ask her out with a note, asking if she'd like to go out with you or not, that is if you dont want to go straight up.. but if i were you, get her flowers and go up to her straight up.. i too, am a 15 year old , however, you can keep the relationship going by keeping your attention to her and not letting her trust and honesty down.. just be honest to a girl :) keep your promises as well .. good luck and just let your instincts strike :)