Topic: How to write a clarification email
June 20, 2019 / By Emilee Question:
My siblings and I have always been civil to eachother, but not close, we mostly kept to ourselves, until a few years ago when I moved out and met a girl who I am marrying in May, and made my sibings part of the wedding party. Since the convenience of living in the same house was gone, i've been trying over the years to establish a relationship with my siblings. They react positively to the idea of it, but are flaky and resistant in practice.
Now I live an hour away, and recently encountered health problems and underwent brain surgury. I was in the hospital for 5 days, my parents who my siblings still live with, visited me twice, and my siblings never came, except my sister sent me a plant. This hurt me, and I didn't want it to bottle up so I told them in an email while in the hospital because I was too weak to speak. This did not go over well. After many arguments, they don't know if they want to be in the wedding anymore,but haven't decided. Do I write them off, or hope for the best?
*Additional Info, my brothers are fine now, have acknowledged the situation, and like me are moving on. My sister and her fiancee however, are trying to make this about how we hurt them. My sister cancelled plans to come to the wedding shower this weekend because she told me, "it doesn't feel right". I tried to get clarification on what that meant, but she didn't have a clear answer. I think she's afraid of being judged? Regardless, because my fiancee's sister is throwing it, and my sister had previously agreed to help, it puts a strain on the planning, and also brings hurts more people because of the situation. So now she shows me that she doesn't care by not showing up in the hospital, she's pulling out of the wedding shower.
Chrysanta | 4 days ago
You have to do whats best for you whether that means writing them off or hoping for the best that depends on what you could handle doing. Or what you would feel better doing. I can't believe that they didn't come to the hospital and see you that's not right. They had transportation and even if they didn't I would have found a way to come and see my brother if he were in the hospital. You did the right thing by telling them how you felt and I'm guessing their expressed anger towards that is from guilt. I'd hope for the best maybe they'll come around and if they don't then the ball is in their court
It's a shame that they treat you this way when you seem to be making an effort to include them in your life. I say make different arrangements for the wedding. If there are other people you can put in their place, do so and be done with it. Let your siblings know you will not be needing them in the wedding after all and maybe explain why.
I say move on with your life and don't make such a huge effort to include them in your life. Some people just don't have a clue and some people just don't reciporcate feelings when we want or need them to.