5235 Shares

Many problems in my marriage need help from muslims?

Many problems in my marriage need help from muslims? Topic: Did 3 of the sister wives leave marriage
May 22, 2019 / By Diamanda
Question: Hi to everyone, I'm so sad and tired that I decided to write here to have some help.. I think I failed in my marriage and maybe done the wrong choise.. the problems are a lot but I'll try my best to be short.. I'm a girl married 4 years ago with a muslim jordanian guy and converted from 3 years now, we don't have kids yet, we actually live in different countries for many reasons, the main is he has problems with his job. I don't actually don't work and live with my parents... first it's hard don't live with my husband and now it's almost 1 year I'm waiting his job goes well to move to him, so I'm getting very tired, + my family stress me and we are often fighting so I'm just looking forward to leave this house... but it's ok this cuz I understand him, I know perfectly I can't do so much at the moment to help him and I'm not insisting or stressing him too much to hurry up... the problem is in the last months I often don't feel loved by him, he often compare me to other women, her sisters, wife's friends, sometimes ex girlfriends... he often insults me too about my character saying me I'm lazy, looser, annoying... or about my look or insulting my family... which I found it abusive because he really exagerates sometimes and if I try to defend my self he'll get more angry... + he said me often hard things that really hurted me like feelings for me are going away day after day or he thinks soon we'll break up...I try to understand his point, he really exagerates with rude words and to deliver his message because he gots immediatly angry but in part he has right... I know I'm not so indipendent for example, it's true I'm little lazy and get stressed immediatly while he's a hard working and he feels a lot of pressure and stress by me because I depend by him, because he needs to think about all but I'm a person these years tried her best to improve my character and be more like he wants me, I changed many things of me (but I didn't convert to Islam for him, it wasn't neither necessary) so he can be happy of me but the fact is he's never and will never be happy or proud about me. We are just differents and I arrived at the point I don't feel truly loved by him, I fed up and I'm tired, I'm honestly taking in consideration divorce because I realized I'm not happy, we are not happy... he always will want another type of woman, while I would want be loved for what I am, with this I don't want to mean I can't be better and don't try to change smthing of me or make some compromise but I think some aspects of character are really difficult to change.. we often are fighting because I'm not interested in career even I have degree and would like be housewife, I know I can't because at the moment he hasn't so much money, it's ok I can work no problem, but he doesn't want I just work, he wants a bright mind, a successful woman in career and home and family 1 day... in other words he wants a wonder woman, smthing near the perfection and let me say I'm not exagerating saying it because I can see it clearly by his actions... I can't never complain, I need to be patient, always have respect for him, never shout to him or says ugly words even he has the right to insult me, I need to look beautiful always, I need to be excited and ready for sex when he wants, when he requires attention I have to give him totally, I need to listen him totally... in other words in a muslim marriage this is normal but what is not normal he pretends I work and make career + have kids 1 day, + I'm not allowed to make many things but he doesn't provide for me as is my family is provinding for me, he make me gifts yes, sometimes leave me some money but is not he's providing for me every month... he wants a muslim wife but at same time he wants the independence of a western wife... I don't know I sometimes think he doesn't love me really but he just loves the image of the woman he would like have, I'm trying my best but is not enough and I'm honestly starting to fed up, I'm not saying it's all his fault but I'm starting think we committed mistake marrying us because we are very different. Any advice? What should I do? Talk with him it's difficult or he gets angry or he will say he just want I'm the best because he loves me + he's very proud he nevers says me sorry or try to change smthing for me... I'm very tired for all this, now I cry almost every day and feels like my head is going to explode, I think I failed.
Best Answer

Best Answers: Many problems in my marriage need help from muslims?

Caprina Caprina | 2 days ago
You're better off asking this in the Ramadan section where the muslims are or the Relationship section.
👍 132 | 👎 2
Did you like the answer? Many problems in my marriage need help from muslims? Share with your friends

We found more questions related to the topic: Did 3 of the sister wives leave marriage


Caprina Originally Answered: My wife's problems are creating problems for me. Her problems are hurting our marriage. What can I do about it?
I'd suggest asking her if she wants help resolving her problems . If not , get a motorcycle , join the Ted Nugent fan club and go see some awesome live music ! Edit : I have invented a word for chicks like your wife , " Discontentaholic " . I have dated a couple and my Mom is one as well .
Caprina Originally Answered: My wife's problems are creating problems for me. Her problems are hurting our marriage. What can I do about it?
Woman air their grievances more than men as a general thing. Basically, when men raise a problem they are looking for a solution but women are just getting it off their chests. You either have to learn to just let it run off you like water off a duck or get divorced. I got divorced; I have my own problems and don't need someone else's on top of them. Men are more confrontational and will deal with a problem head on and women are more non-confrontational and will tend to deal with a problem behind the scenes. MY very general opinion and perhaps your experience has been different. She isn't telling you the problems because she wants a solution. She just wants to complain, to "share" emotionally. I think that what is wanted is comfort and commiseration but definitely not a solution.
Caprina Originally Answered: My wife's problems are creating problems for me. Her problems are hurting our marriage. What can I do about it?
Try -- sweetly explaining to her that you don't want any more drama or problems - that you simply cannot handle them any more. When she starts with a problem -- take an exit -- refuse to deal with it -- refuse to listen to it .. (unless it's something that she needs you for .. for real).
Caprina Originally Answered: My wife's problems are creating problems for me. Her problems are hurting our marriage. What can I do about it?
You are married. Your problems are JOINT problems. If you can't resolve them as a couple, then you enlist the help of a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT).

Caprina Originally Answered: Muslims: Do you think there are any problems associated with Sharia law, or is this considered "perfect".
There are certain laws which are clear and cannot be refuted by any believing Muslim. We cannot, for example, say that times have changed and pigs are more sanitary these days, so it's ok to eat them. On the other hand, there are many, many laws which are derived laws, meaning they are indirectly based on the Quran and sunnah through scholarly opinion at one time or another. These are open to new interpretation if new information or a new situation warrants it. Sharia Law is not the monolith that some non-Muslims make it out to be. There has always been variance in different Muslim communities depending on which scholars were popular in the area and what the specific conditions were at the time. Those derived laws, which would make up the majority of the legal code, have never been considered infallible, but the best efforts of the scholars at the time and those previous to establish laws that reflect the spirit of the Islamic message. Certainly, there is always reason to look at our practice of Islam afresh, for it is inevitable that there will be cultural influences which may affect the thinking of scholars through time. But there is a difference between questioning the reasoning behind derived laws and questioning those laws laid forth explicitly in the Quran. The former is always open to critique and adjustment, while the latter are not.
Caprina Originally Answered: Muslims: Do you think there are any problems associated with Sharia law, or is this considered "perfect".
I think yeah, perfect if implemented correctly...Like women have rights but in many Islamic countries, courts don't grant them these rights, though Sharia law stated this clearly.
Caprina Originally Answered: Muslims: Do you think there are any problems associated with Sharia law, or is this considered "perfect".
Oh of course it's perfect. How could stoning women to death for adultery be anything less than perfect? Sorry, I got dizzy there for a minute my eyes were rolling so much.

If you have your own answer to the question did 3 of the sister wives leave marriage, then you can write your own version, using the form below for an extended answer.