If a girl grows up around?
Topic: Grown ups the sisters
May 20, 2019 / By Debby Question:
A father who was a drug abuser/drunk.. but only had to deal with it until she was around 7... would that still affect her when she got older? The reason I ask this is because my father was just that,if he didnt like the food,he threw it out,he had very bad behavior and tried shooting my moms boyfriend when I was a little kid. He even held a gun up to his head while me and my sister were in plain view. Now as I'm older I almost resent boys and anything to do with romance/having a relationship. I'm really confused as to why I'm like this. Any help?
It's almost as though I look for guys that are like my father,not intentionally but that's what it comes up to.
Best Answers: If a girl grows up around?
Britney | 10 days ago
I am no expert, but I had a different father figure growing up even though I lived with the man my mother married. My father figure was the opposite of my father at home.
Now that I am older, my father figure is deceased but my memories of him are good. So, if you can remember a man in your life that was the kind of father you wish you had, use that man in your father figure memories instead of focusing on your real father.
It sounds to me like you know the type of man you don't want, now you need to focus on the type of man you do want for a boyfriend. Focus on the good things you seek. None of this will come to you overnight but as you change your outlook, you will change your feelings about the kind of relationship you seek. Write these good things down and share them with your prospective boyfriend before you become intimate.
It is vital that you be positive. For instance, "I don't want an abusive boyfriend" is not a positive. It is a negative with negative feelings of what you don't want. So try, "I want a kind, strong, protective, trusting boyfriend" instead. Keep these thoughts with you at all times and share them with your girlfriends. The hardest part about changing your thought processes and behavior will be the friends you will lose that are negative all of the time. Tell those friends you love them and let them go. Who knows, you may make a positive impact on their lives.
Stay strong and don't accept anything but the best in the guy you hope to love. Remember, relationships are promotions with many perks but just as many responsibilities. Be careful who you give that promotion to and you will see the happiness you so passionately seek.
👍 228 | 👎 10
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We found more questions related to the topic: Grown ups the sisters
People tend to seek a similar or near-exact mate based on their opposite sex parent. This is the natural state of mind. It could and is absolutely affecting your decisions in your "significant other". Though therapy is a very viable option, the realization that you look for those qualities in a mate is half the battle. You can actively try to steer clear of those types of people, though difficult, but this is not a solution to your problem of resentment. A suggestion, if you don't prefer therapy, is grabbing a motivational or empowering book for women, which may help you realize what you want/don't want in a man.
What's worked for me in the past is writting down a list of qualities I don't want in a woman and the qualities I do. Keep adding to this list and when/if you find a man you may find yourself willing to try to date, look back on that list and count how many positive/negative qualities he has that's represent the type of man you do/don't want. It's a fancy Pros/Cons list and is extremely revealing, showing you what it is that you look for and hate. This may help you answer some of your own questions about how your father has damaged/destroyed your view of men.
Just remember, though most men may be pigs, often the nicest and most respectful of them are only waiting for the right woman to take an interest in them and see them for who THEY are and not what your FATHER was.
👍 90 | 👎 1
Whatever we have undergone in the past will certainly affect us and will certainly shape us. Most people does not realize this. As you have this feeling on how the behaviour of your father had affected you then you are one step ahead in helping yourself overcome such affect in giving rise to negative impact in your life.
You know what your father is like that is why you are more careful in selecting boys (not resentful to boys) This can be a blessing in disguise as you are are not so naive and some men can be hurtful. You can spot characters of men that cam lead them to maybe be like your dad. So use this to your advantage do not take chances with men when your gut instinct say that they can be like you dad...you can get away before it is too late.
So dont you see that you have this ability......you should not be afarid to try relationship. This ability should not cause you to be afraid to men....in fact reverse it so it can help you spot certain things that can help you decide to gon with the relationship or move yourself away..... Give it a try and trust your ownself.
👍 81 | 👎 -8
He was not a good role model, sound to me like he had lots of problems and took to durgs. You may have alot of anger towards him as a child cos of the way he behaved he was not behaving reponsible. When people are on drugs they don,t act normal. Fogive cos bitterness can hurt you the most and when you let go of the past healing will happen and I would speak to someone about all this, not anyone someone who makes you feel better. Your special to Jesus. Everyone is going to die one day and face judgement him included if he does not change so pray for him it also stops you hating.
👍 72 | 👎 -17
I'm not your therpist and can't recommend anything for simple matter of fact that I have no psychological fact's.
But it sound's to me like you are suffering from PSTD
Post stress Traumatic Disorder -
For the fact that you said"recent boy's" and blame your childhood.
Seek professional help to resolve your ordeal before you end up being a cycle of abuse.
👍 63 | 👎 -26
the suited factor is which you will attempt to socialize as much as he can . Being gruesome does not mean lots.interior the begining anybody is shy yet slowly you do away with shyness.go on chatting with females as much as you may. After a while you would be sturdy talker.you may initiate with trouble-free questions.hi How are you and after the respond go extra.Humor does help yet not interior the begining
👍 54 | 👎 -35
It definately sounds like it's affecting you, you should seek therapy to get all of that out and it'll help.
👍 45 | 👎 -44
absolutely that could afect you. Please seek therapy, you could easily end up with an abuser and an alchoholic if you don't get this worked out
👍 36 | 👎 -53
Originally Answered: Where the red fern grows?
trying to cheat on homework huh?
The red fern symbolizes new life
Billy gets the hunting dogs himself and proves that he can train them and be a man.
We know he is brave because despite all the hardships that he went through and after Dan a Ann died he had to overcome there death and realize that it was a part of life.