How to throw my sister out of her home without ruining our family?
Topic: Sign off for cover letters
June 17, 2019 / By Quibilah Question:
My mother passed away almost a year ago. She willed her home to me, but my oldest sister has been living with mom for several years, so naturally she had no desire to leave the house. The thing is that my sister does not work, so she cannot afford to pay me any sort of rent to cover the taxes and water bill on the home. Naturally I'm not eager to pay the bills on two properties. I love my sister, but I don't feel it's my duty to support her. I need her to leave the home so I can either rent it out or sell it.
Obviously it's hard to kick a family member to the road. No one is willing to take her in (my sister is very lazy and a slob). My wife basically threatened to divorce me if I took her in. So I have no idea how to progress on this. I don't want to destroy my sister's life. What can I do?
Best Answers: How to throw my sister out of her home without ruining our family?
Mel | 1 day ago
you give your sister written notice unless there was some condition in giving you the home that required you to take care of your sister. Is your sister on disability? If so, if the bills are in her name and if there is a written lease, she might be able to make sure she gets the highest possible SSI (if she is on SSI) and/or get LIHEAP assistance on her power/gas bill.
Something like: I am sorry that mom is no longer here to pay the bills for you. I am willing to consider allowing you to live here for well below market-rate rent as an honor to mom & in an attempt to help you; however, there are certain things that any tenant must do such as paying for their use of power, gas, water/sewer, trash service, taxes, insurance, maintenance & repairs.
I can not continue to provide these things on your behalf. You will need to come up with a way to pay your own utilities plus __________ amount of "rent" to cover maintenance, insurance, taxes, etc...
I am willing to allow you to consider a room-mate who can pay these amounts for you; however, I would require that they sign a written pre-paid month-to-month lease, pass my criteria (credit check, rental history, background check, etc...) and that month-to-month rental be a set pre-paid amount based on anticipated utilities usage plus whatever the monthly overage is added to the following month. I will only consider month-to-month & pre-payment as this is a means to protect myself.
If you are unwilling to get a room-mate, then you must come up with some other way to pay these bills; otherwise, I will have no other choice but to ask you to vacate so that I can get a renter.
---now, how do you do this without pissing off the rest of the family ----
You write a letter to other family members, offering them the opportunity to pick up the cost (or share with you the cost) of your sister's bills --- explain to them that you are needing to share this burden or you will have to consider other options. If they refuse to help, then you can no longer allow them to place the blame on you.
If you do have to kick her out.... then help her get on wait lists for government housing, homeless assistance, etc (YWCA, if they are in your area, might have very low-income shelter housing)
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Originally Answered: My sisters boyfriend is ruining our relationship and our family! Help?
First of all, your mom needs to tell your sister and her boyfriend they need to find their own place. Your sister is in denial right now, but if he continues to prove that he will not care for his family or provide a stable home it might provide the wake up call she needs. You also have to understand, that as much as it hurts you to see your sister miserable, she had to choose to make a change and stand up for herself. I was with my ex-fiance three years, and everyone, including my little sister, saw that he made me miserable. Even without a kid, I thought he was my only chance. It took some time, but I finally woke up, and three months and one day later I met the real love of my life, that my whole family loves. We're married now. Your sister has to do this on her own. Talk to her, listen, but do not push her on the issue of her boyfriend because it will only push her away. It is so hard to help someone out of a bad relationship, because for many, the more negatives they hear about their partner the more determined they become to prove everyone wrong. Say the things to her that he should be saying, build her up, and hopefully with time the confidence you help instill will be of use when she reaches that point where she has to decide whether to risk it all or bury her head in the sand.
Ok no matter if she is your sister or not, she has to take some responciblity with her life and living expenses should be one of them. If you want to play hard ball, give her an informal letter stating she has three days to pay at least 30% of the utility bills and something toward rent. If she refuses, under tenant landlord act you have the right to change locks on the doors and she would have to have a verbal conversation on how to get the rest of her stuff off of the property. If you want to be very compassionate about the situation I would try this.....give her a verbal and documented talking to and written statement that she has 30 days to find a job and must pay $rent amount and $utiltiy costs, or she will need to find elsewhere to live so you can rent out the home. Tell her that you can not afford to properties and she is old enough to work and pay her own bills. I understand where your wife is coming from.she is frusterated becuase she does not feel that you should have to "parent" your sister.
👍 50 | 👎 -8
No offense tell your wife to back off, your her brother as a brother its your place to tell your sister that your having a struggle trying to pay all the bills and you need her to either help out or your going to sell it becuase the house is making you have a budget and thats something your not ust to doing. Or you could even help your sister try and apply for jobs and get dressed for interviews and see where that goes, i understand about your moms passing sorry for your loss i just lost my sister but at the same time life doesnt wait for no one so you should explain to her just because your mom passed doesnt mean these people are going to care about whether you can or cant pay the bill becuase if not someone will come along who can afford to pay this and that.
👍 50 | 👎 -17
Well honestly there is no good way of going about this. Its your house now. You should just tell her she needs to get a job and pay you rent or she needs to find somewhere else to go. As an adult she can't expect you to pay her way just because she was there first.
Its not your problem if she wants to be lazy.
👍 50 | 👎 -26
She is an adult so stop treating her like a child. Give her 30 days notice for her to move out and tell her that your going to either (like you said) rent it out or sell it. She's a big girl, she can figure it out. Your sister is not even worth of risking your marriage.
👍 50 | 👎 -35
Originally Answered: Halloween costume i can throw together at home (10 PTS)?
you could be wonder bread.
take a garbage bag and cut holes for your arms and head to fit through.
cut out some different sized circles that are red green and yellow from construction paper (you can use circular lids as templates, like from cans of nuts or coffee)
tape the circles to the garbage bag
either write on the bag or cut out letters from construction paper and tape them on that say "WONDER"
here's a pick of what the wonder bread looks like:
cute, easy, and quick