Originally Answered: Is it very harmful for my baby to be around cigarette smoke some of the time?
On Christmas Day, my daughter met my husband's brother's wife for the first time. I was holding my daughter, and the woman REEKED of stale smoke that was clinging to her clothes, her hair, body, etc. I cannot stand to talk to her because of the smell. My daughter started fussing in less than two minutes. She didn't/doesn't normally fuss around people, so that was my conclusion-- she didn't like the smell of the stale smoke. Earlier in December we went to my husband's sister's wedding. Both my sister-in-law and her husband smoke. A friend of my SIL's also smokes. (All three of the women I just mentioned are mothers and have no reservations about smoking around their children.) They were all at my MIL's home for a dinner after the wedding. The downstairs of the house reeked of stale smoke. (I think my SIL's son's girlfriend was there as well, she also smokes.) My daughter was not happy downstairs that day. It could have either had been from the smoke smell and/or the commotion, as they do not know the meanings of the words "calm" and demure". Regardless, I kept my daughter upstairs where it was a bit calmer.
As has been said, second hand smoke is dangerous for anybody, regardless of age. I will not let my SIL baby-sit for my daughter for that reason. (There are other reasons, too. Even my husband agrees that she is not fit to care for our daughter.)
For the sake of your daughter, keep her away from the poison. Is it really necessary that your son goes to the bowling alley? Tell his grandfather that he can only see your son at your house and that he is to not smell of smoke. If he is offended, tell him that you want the best for your son and are concerned for his health with the exposure of cigarette smoke. If his grandfather objects, then sadly, it is his choice to spend his time with sticks of suicide than with his grandson. If your son's father can do it, surely he can, too.
I live in Ohio, where there is also a Smoke Free law. All public places, even bars and bowling alleys are smoke free. Actually, since bowling alleys can be a great place to take kids, I think they SHOULD be smoke free. I was for the Smoke Free laws even before I quit smoking. I was almost the one smoker amongst non-smokers and I knew then how annoying it could be to others. I wouldn't smoke around others unless they came to me, or said it was okay. Now I think it's really great to be able to take my daughter places and not have to worry about the poison. I am also thankful that I was smoke free for almost three years before she was conceived.