Topic: Good words to start off a conclusion is the place
June 24, 2019 / By Suzy Question:
I'm 14 years old, and I hate going out. I hate going out to places because I get nervous, sometimes i can't even order food because my hands shake and i get scared that other's will see i'm nervous. I don't know why! I can't pay for my own things, because I shake loads and handling money will make me appear nervous. I can't talk to people I don't know and at school it really is terrible. Like, if I have to hand out tests or something.. i can't because i get scared my hands will shake because I always feel nervous. I get all red and my eyes start to water if someone I don't know speaks to me, and if the teacher picks me out on the spot. Ahh! What can I do?
Raymonda | 5 days ago
You remind me of me. I can't bare to read anymore lol. Let me try to help you with my answer;
First off the root of anxiety, shyness, nervousness, and so forth are from fear. When the mind is afraid then the body will get the messages, so then the body will turn tensed, rigid, have fast heart beats, ect.
My strategy to go against fear is this;
Now when your in a fearful situation such as being around people, well I want you to imagine every negative or positive outcome that may happen to you when your in a fearful situation and just "let it happen" instead of "preventing" it. When you try to prevent these outcomes made up in your mind, you create a barrier of fear, which makes your body turn tensed and rigid. Think about this though has fear ever benefited you in your whole life? Or has it instead made your situation worse by making your body turn tensed and rigid?
You are human, you are certainly going to die in this lifetime and so is everyone else. So "try" to "enjoy" every moment you can living, instead of living in "fear". You can possibly die next week, next month or maybe in the next 2 years.
If you project negativity well then it’s time to break this habit. Why should you break this habit? This negative habit has no benefits at ALL, but instead it leaves you feeling down all the time, thinking badly about everything and at some cases where you just want to die because you feel so negative and think so negative. When we think positive we also feel positive. Thinking positive has benefits as to thinking negative has no benefits. They’re some negative acts such as killing, stealing, bad use of words, ect. Those are negative acts because they harm one self and others. Thinking positive is thinking on the good side of things, thinking good, and feeling great.
Habits take time to break, thinking negative is a major horrible habit.
Repeatedly tell yourself to not think negative and because it has no benefits and it is a bad habit.
After you try to break this bad habit you must try to start a good habit which is thinking positive, thinking on the good side of things, feeling good.
So conclusion; If the act does not harm YOU or anyone else than it can be thought of as positive.
Whenever you think negative, don't be too hard on yourself. Tell yourself that negativity is a bad habit and it can be broken and all things take time and progress.
In your case; Okay so whenever you do an action ask yourself; Will I get bad karma for doing this? Will me or anyone be harmed in doing this? If not then just do it!!!!! LIFE LIFE!!!!!!!!
Okay to start off with building self-confidence in yourself and to be around people see this;
We are all human and we ALL have good and bad qualities. There is no existing human that is perfect. We are all ordinary and equal. Our skin holds our flesh and bones together, we have a brain, heart, liver, lung, ears, nose, mouth. What makes us different from each other really? In reality we are all equal and the same.
Try to visualize taking out the outer skin of people, what we do get? Bones, flesh, body parts ect.
"You won't know until you try"
"Don't doubt, attempt, make mistakes, learn, move forward, live"
Holding a decision is like making a delay, does it ever help? Don't be afraid to make mistakes, humans make mistakes ALL the time, but what is important is that we "recognize" our mistake, "learn" from our mistake, and try to "avoid" doing it in the future. Note; if you know what your going to die is a mistake and intentionally then try to avoid it.
You hear this once and you'll hear it again and it’s true;
" In order to love others you must first love yourself "
So everyday when you wake up remember to love yourself to get yourself through the day.
Don't be worried if you don't "receive" love because that does not bring you true happiness, "giving" love brings more happiness than receiving for "ones own". But remember in order to give love you most first love yourself because there must be a root that the love must start from, which is yourself, and then it grows and spreads onto others like a tree.
So in your case don't worry if people don't love you back, just remember what will truly make you happy and get you through a day is if you love yourself and love others, no need to receive as long as were giving, this is the formula of happiness.
The only love one needs in this world is oneself, the rest are just a bonus. After one has the love for oneself THEN one can truly share it with others.
Omg i know how you feel like an exanple is when i am in band camp because i am in color guard as i am doing something i will start to shake and get really nervus because i am scared of failure and that is no way to be becasue then you have no confidence and lately i have been really focusing on just tring to not worry about what people think and just really trieng my hardest at things and if i do happen to get something wrong then just laugh at yourself because then if you can laugh at your own mistakes i think that makes you a better person!!!
One thing that helped me when I was a teen and was nervous socially was to realize that this was just as bad as being egotistical. It is a heightened sense of your own importance to believe that everyone is looking at you or talking about you, whether that is for the good or bad. And something I have to be told reminded of even as an adult is "how much is this gonna matter a week from now, a year, 5 years?"
Talk to them with no expectations. In other words, don't expect that one is going to like you. Just be friendly to EVERYONE. Find a girl you aren't interested in at all and talk to her. Then talk to her friends. Then move on to talking to other girls. Just talk with no expectations and you will be fine.