Am I a bad mother. compared to other mothers?
Topic: I feel too lazy to do my homework
June 17, 2019 / By Conradine Question:
Compared to all my friends and acquaintences, I think I'm a bad mother. Part of it is because I'm busy, part because I'm lazy.
I don't make fancy birthday parties with spider cupcaces that have licorice for legs and raisins for eyes.
I don't always get them to school on time in the morning.
I drink beer and wine most weeks, but I don't overdo it.
I don't keep the house orderly, and don't make them help me clean.
I start driving before they have their seatbelts on.
I don't always make sure their homework is done.
I yell at them occasionally when I get frustrated and sometimes I swear.
I'm not strict.
I don't make them take a bath every day - or even every week.
I do some things right too:
I give them hugs and kisses, talk and listen to them.
I cook healthy and encourage them to eat healthy.
I teach them to be kind and generous to their friends.
I tell them to respect and listen to their teachers.
We do lots of fun stuff, especially outdoors.
Their friends can come over anytime and join us for meals.
They have lots of freedom.
We sing, dance, and laugh together.
So, all things considered, am I a good mother or a bad mother? Sometimes I feel so guilty.
Best Answers: Am I a bad mother. compared to other mothers?
Bertha | 9 days ago
No, you are not a bad mother. All that matters is that your child is happy. You don't need to throw parties with those cupcakes to be a good mother. You are only human. All that matters is you give them education, happiness, and are open to listen to them when they need someone to talk. From the things described you sound just like my mother, and I love her to death and am pretty sure I won't survive without her. So don't worry you don't need to feel guilty because you're doing just fine :) although it would be nice for them to take a shower regularly ;)
👍 106 | 👎 9
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Originally Answered: Do I have the right to feel overlooked on mothers day despite not being a birth mother?
I can understand how you feel.
Now you cant expect the young child to provide acknowledgement, even children of biological parents at that age might not even realise what the day is about.
You can however expect your partner to help his son do something for you for mothers day and encourage him to make something for you. There could be a few reasons your partner didnt and only you and him know the answer to that. Perhaps he doesnt think its right for you to be considered the mum as if its taking away from the biological mother, perhaps he didnt even think about it (as some men don't) or perhaps he just doesnt appreciate what you are doing for him and his son. Who really knows, maybe even the ex used to chuck a spak attack at not getting attention and he is now over the whole mothers day thing.
I would have a chat to him and just express it might be nice to receive a token of gratitude as you are doing all the tasks of a mother to his son.
As for the whole stepmom thing it does get messy, I idolised my birth mother up until I was capable of realising who people really where for themselves and I gave my stepmother hell for years. My birth mother got everything from me and my stepmother hardly anything. Once I was able to see who was who and which person it was that clothed me, disciplined me and loved me it changed in reverse and now it is my stepmother I take out to lunch on mothers day.
Good luck with it all.
You just don't stop and think about the kids needs first, especially when you drive off without them having their seatbelts on. If they aren't sent to school on time, later on in life, they will also be constantly late for work. All these things that you are teaching them now, they will carry on into their adulthood. You don't have to be strict, but at least give them some direction and discipline. They should help you out around the home as they live there as well. Give them too much freedom with no rules in place, they will become feral and more than likely disrupt other peoples lives and that will be all thanks to you. You are their role model, so how they turn out is a reflection on the type of person you are. You may not be a bad mother, but you definitely a can't be bothered mother.
👍 30 | 👎 4
No mother is perfect. Do you love your kids? Of course you do. Everyone gets frustrated by their kids at some stage, it's only human to let it show every once in a while.
Your second list sounds like you're irrefutably a good mother, while your first list is just being honest...although I have to admit, they should take a shower at least every second day, lol.
They will learn from their peers and teachers that getting their homework completed saves embarrassment. It sounds like they get heaps of outdoor exercise - all the more reason for them to shower (lol), and are eating healthily which is more than lots of mums do with their kids these days.
Are our kids happy and healthy? Are you? If so, keep up the good work. If not, make the small adjustments :-)
As for the cupcakes and parties- sounds showy, something the mother does to show off, rather than your method of having friends over in a more relaxed and sociable setting.
👍 22 | 👎 -1
I don't think that you're a bad person, but there are things you could do to be a better mother. You have the responsibility of making sure that your children are on a good path in life. Not making them have a baths or making them late to school is holding them back.
👍 14 | 👎 -6
U sound like my mother. But no, your not a bad mother. My Mom has been doing most of the things that u have been doing, and my sisters and I are turning out fine. I'm 12, I have an older sis who's 16, and a younger sis who's 9. We are all fine. Don't worry.
👍 6 | 👎 -11
Um..... Technically you are a bad mother.
Just make sure you teach your kids to be responsible and self serving, so that would excuse many of the bad things you do.
👍 -2 | 👎 -16