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2 Would your edit my paragraph? English is my second language?

2 Would your edit my paragraph? English is my second language? Topic: Concluding paragraphs for a research papers
July 18, 2019 / By Bibi
Question: Three weeks after Islamic Regime gained power in Iran, it started attacking women rights by imposing Hijab. The study that I found to relate to this subject is called “The Hejab In Contemporary Iran: Women’s Views regarding its use” done by Velayati. This is the best article that could give me the sense of understanding about Iranian women challenges regarding to the Issue of hejab. The author in this paper examines the different ways in which the hejab is perceived and used by Iranian women. Also, she is emphasizing the fact that the meanings given to hejab are contradictory and complex for veiled and unveiled women and that the hejab plays different roles in different contexts. The purpose of this research is to compare the use of hejab before and after the Islamic revolution. As participations suggested, many middle and upper class women saw the scarf as unifying factors among women. This is a view that was shared by many women during the revolution. Millions of women took part in the 1979 Islamic Revolution. They saw the revolution as a means to achieve the rights they thought they deserved to have. Many of the women did indeed wear the scarf voluntarily during the revolution, but for them the revolution was a political movement rather than a religious one. They did not like the Pahlavi regime (the regime before revolution) and in the 1970's Hejab represented what the Pahlavi's had rejected. Therefore, opposing camps for opposite reasons used hejab: the veil as a symbol of liberation from the dictatorial state and as an instrument for hegemonizing a revolution by those whose only aim was political power. It concludes that compulsory hejab use is a patriarchal or fundamentalist tool used by men for controlling women, whereas voluntary hejab use can be an emancipatory tool used by women to free themselves from patriarchal, cultural boundaries and legitimate their presence in public life while still retaining their cultural traditions. There is no question on Iran’s government pressure on its female citizens but at the same time some women who travel out of Iran still wear their scarf even thought they are not anymore under Islamic republic laws. Therefore, there should be another factor that challenges Iranian women about their hejab.
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Best Answers: 2 Would your edit my paragraph? English is my second language?

Ailey Ailey | 4 days ago
Three weeks after Islamic Regime gained power in Iran, it started attacking women's rights by imposing Hejab. The study that I found to relate to this subject is called “The Hejab In Contemporary Iran: Women’s Views Regarding Its Use” written by Velayati. This is the best article that could give me the sense of understanding about Iranian women's challenges related to the Issue of Hejab. The author in this paper examines the different ways in which the Hejab is perceived and used by Iranian women. Also, she is emphasizing the fact that the meanings given to Hojab are contradictory and complex for veiled and unveiled women and that the Hejab plays different roles in different contexts. The purpose of this research is to compare the use of Hejab before and after the Islamic revolution. As participation suggested, many middle and upper-class women saw the scarf as a unifying factor among women. This is a view that was shared by many women during the revolution. Millions of women took part in the 1979 Islamic Revolution. They saw the revolution as means to achieve the rights they felt they deserved. Many of the women did indeed wear the scarf voluntarily during the revolution, but for them the revolution was a political movement rather than a religious one. They did not like the Pahlavi regime (the regime before revolution) and in the 1970's, Hejab represented what the Pahlavis had rejected. Therefore, opposing camps for opposite reasons used Hejab: the veil as a symbol of liberation from the dictatorial state, and as an instrument for hegemonizing a revolution by those whose only aim was political power. It concludes that compulsory Hejab use is a patriarchal or fundamentalist tool used by men for controlling women, whereas voluntary Hejab use can be an emancipatory tool used by women to free themselves from patriarchal cultural boundaries and legitimate their presence in public life while still retaining their cultural traditions. There is no question about Iran’s government pressure on its female citizens, but at the same time, some women who travel out of Iran still wear their scarf even thought they are no longer subject to Islamic republic laws. Therefore, there is another factor that challenges Iranian women about their Hejab. Especially for a second language, your English is superb. I know a lot of native English speakers who don't speak it as well as you do.
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We found more questions related to the topic: Concluding paragraphs for a research papers


Ailey Originally Answered: How does this paragraph sound? please edit it if needed-10 points first person to edit it?
Hello again! I've totally spelling and grammar checked it again. And as last time, most of the errors are just typos it seems! Okay heres the corrected paragraph! The third poet and poem I will write about is the "Chimney Sweeper," by William Blake. William Blake was an English poet, painter, and print maker. His work is considered seminal in the history of both poetry and the visual arts of the Romantic Age (Blake 76). The "Chimney Sweeper," is about childhood innocence. It is based on a child named Tom whose mother died and his father sold him to become a chimney sweeper at a very young age (Blake 85). In contrast, "The Sonnets from the Portuguese," written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Browning was a respected working poet for many years before her courtship and marriage to Robert Browning. In "Sonnets from the Portuguese," Browning suggests that her love for her husband has restored her lost faith and soothed all the emotional wounds of her childhood. Browning writes, "I love thee with a love I seemed to lose (line 11 1085). These religious ideas spring naturally from the faithful Christian she was. These poems express overall different emotions. William Blake's poem makes the reader feel sad and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poem expresses the feeling of being in love forever, which gives someone a feeling of joy. Okay now i will list what i have changed: -whoses - whose -year's-years -christian-Christian -forever which - forever, which -th-the -and i've put just the 1 full stop at the end instead of 2 - i have made printmaker to print maker also (As you will probably realise, above, the first listed word/phrase is as you first put it, and the second is what its changed to above in the paragraph) Well i hear very conflicting things as to what to do with paragraphing. It is probably best to leave it as it is, but you could always revise paragraphing just to be 100% sure! Again you've done a fab job! Well done!
Ailey Originally Answered: How does this paragraph sound? please edit it if needed-10 points first person to edit it?
It sounds good but I did make a few changes in punctuation, spelling, and grammar: The third poet and poem I will write about is the "Chimney Sweeper" by William Blake. William Blake was an English poet, painter, and printmaker. His work is considered seminal in the history of both poetry and the visual arts of the Romantic Age (Blake 76). The "Chimney Sweeper" is about childhood innocence. It is based on a child named Tom whose mother died and his father sold him to become a chimney sweeper at a very young age (Blake 85). In contrast is the poem "The Sonnets from the Portuguese" written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Browning was a respected working poet for many years before her courtship and marriage to Robert Browning. In "Sonnets from the Portuguese", Browning suggests that her love for her husband has restored her lost faith and soothed all the emotional wounds of her childhood. Browning writes, "I love thee with a love I seemed to lose (line 11, pg. 1085). These religious ideas spring naturally from the faithful christian she was. These poems express overall different emotions. William Blake's poem makes the reader feel sad and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poem expresses the feeling of being in love forever which gives someone a feeling of joy.
Ailey Originally Answered: How does this paragraph sound? please edit it if needed-10 points first person to edit it?
first of all don’t make it a tale. looks like a excursion instruction manual or something. i visit fix different blunders I see, yet no longer the narrative factors. considering i'm assuming it fairly is your advent, i could start up off consisting of your concepts of the two classes first. Then your thesis is i visit earnings and assessment 3 Romantic poems and 3 Victorian poems. decrease than I went by way of and made some grammar corrections. and adjusted some words to make it circulate greater suitable. i'm hoping you like it. In my essay, i visit communicate 3 Romantic poems and 3 Victorian poems with the aid of evaluating and contrasting each and each. i visit additionally communicate how each and each poem represents the era that it became written in. The Romantic era became from 1785 to 1830 and became, with the aid of far, the shortest of the different era in British literary historical past. The Victorian Age became from 1830 to 1901, and the literature became written in the course of the reign of Queen Victoria (1837-1901) and corresponds with Victorian era. It additionally varieties a link and transition between the writers of the Romantic era and the very confusing literature of the 20 th century. in spite of the shown fact that there are various adjustments between Romantic and Victorian poems, historical past has shown that poems are written, edited, and produced in comparable procedures.

Ailey Originally Answered: Can you help me edit this paragraph?
School is a place meant for learning, but the distraction provided by websites such as Facebook and YouTube only hamper the learning process. One University of Colorado professor found that students who used laptops in class averaged 11% worse on tests than those who took notes on paper. That set the laptop-using group’s average at “almost the same as the average for the students who didn’t come at all.” Some students even confess to being distracted in class, such as Ruben Musca, who says: “If the class is really boring, I check my Facebook.” Many teachers and professors have said that improper and distracting laptop use has reached the tipping point, leading to teachers banning the use of laptops in their respective classes. Some may say that professors, many of whom did not grow up in the “digital age,” do not fully realize the immense benefits or temptation a laptop yields. However, as J. P. Krahel, who taught in 2009-2012 while studying for his doctorate, says: “Eventually [one student’s] performance dipped a little, and I think he realized it.” He also admits to getting distracted on his laptop and realizing what a waste it was "having to do a lot of catching up on my own time, or asking for other people's help.” Countless websites can serve as distractions. Facebook and Twitter for socialites, ESPN.com for sports fans, websites for almost any store, and hundreds of thousands of other websites for others: YouTube, eBay, Tumblr and other blogging websites, etc. Indeed, there is a website for almost everyone; a recent study by a George Washington University professor indicated 95% of his students admitted to using their laptops for “purposes other than taking notes.”
Ailey Originally Answered: Can you help me edit this paragraph?
I'll try my best: School is a place meant for learning, and the distraction created by websites such as Facebook and YouTube only hamper the learning process. One professor from theUniversity of Colorado found that students who used laptops in class averaged 11% worse on tests than those who took notes on paper. That set the laptop-using group’s average at “almost the same as the average for the students who didn't come at all.” Some students even confess to being distracted in class, such as Ruben Musca, who says: “If the class is really boring ... I check my Facebook.” Many teachers and professors have said that improper or distracting laptop use has reached the tipping point, leading to teachers to ban use in their respective classes. Some may say that professors that did not grow up in the “digital age” do not fully recognize the immense benefits or temptation a laptop yields, but as J. P. Krahel, who taught in 2009 and 2012 while studying for his doctorate, says: “Eventually [one student’s] performance dipped a little, and I think he realized it.” He also admits to getting distracted on his laptop and realizing what a waste it was, "having to do a lot of catching up on my own time, or asking for other people's help.” Countless websites can serve as distractions. Facebook and Twitter for socialites, ESPN.com for sports fans, websites for almost any store and hundreds of thousands of other websites for others: YouTube, eBay, Tumblr and other blogging websites, etc. Indeed, there is a website for almost everyone; a recent study by a professor fromGeorge Washington University indicated 95% of his students admitted to using their laptops for “purposes other than taking notes.” I fixed some of your grammar/spelling mistakes, switched around some phrases, and changed some of your wording, but nothing to extensive. Overall a very good paragraph. Cheers :D

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