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Help with a poem my friend wrote?

Help with a poem my friend wrote? Topic: How to write a good poem about myself
May 23, 2019 / By Cherise
Question: My friend wrote a poem and she wants me to critique it for her. I'm not really good with this sort of thing, so please help me and tell me how she could improve it. She is a chameleon: Blending in with her surroundings, Not even a subtle clue of her existence. A mere nobody. she trudges through day after monotonous day; A walking stick of TNT. She hides behind bleary eyes And empty "I'm fines." Tries so hard to believe in that false rhyme about "sticks and stones." But when night inevitably comes And along with it, silence, she releases muffled sobs into tear-stained pillows. and when the pain is too much to bear, She succumbs to her demons; Takes out that little piece of metal she has to keep hidden, And drags it across her skin. Watches the crimson drain from her wrist. this is the end, the grand finale, And she knows it. Hopefully, by the time you finish reading this Suicide Note, you'll realize that "she" .....is actually me
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Best Answers: Help with a poem my friend wrote?

Ashlie Ashlie | 1 day ago
Wow. That's dark...I think it's really good. I'm sure she could improve it somehow, but I have no idea how. I think it's a fantastic poem.
👍 130 | 👎 1
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Ashlie Originally Answered: Please will you rate my poem that I wrote for my friend?
It's lovely, darling...it just caught my attention and held it. It's a great way to show him how you feel. It's so evocative and emotive. I know what I'm talking about, too...I have a degree in Literature. (((Sassy)))
Ashlie Originally Answered: Please will you rate my poem that I wrote for my friend?
OMG I totally love your poems. Can I hire you to write poems at my wedding and give them to people so the atmosphere is even more romantic? *asks very nicely*

Zia Zia
Not sure the TNT line is needed, but? The piece speaks of a permanent solution to what might sometimes be a temporary issue, but especially in the young, depressed, bullied, made fun of, ignored, feeling overwhelming angst, it seems a way to an end.
👍 50 | 👎 -1

Slade Slade
She is bothered. Suicidal and plan to commit ...... slit her self with a bladed weapon she have concealed. Bothered by the demons its something bothering her mind. You are her friend. help her.
👍 50 | 👎 -3

Slade Originally Answered: What do you think of this poem? (Wrote it in honor of a friend that passed)?
Well I'm glad it didn't end up in poetry or I might have missed it. I think you did very well, it isn't choppy, It has a well thought out beginning, moves well, and ends solid. There is good emotion without being over dramatic. It also makes you think. I am sorry you had to experience such a loss in order to write it, you can tell how hard it has been on you, but I can see your starting to heal from it and that's good.

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