What the hell is wrong with my parents?
Topic: Can parents help with homework
July 18, 2019 / By Devon Question:
Awhile back I posted a question about how my parents fail to discipline my ADHD/LD brother. This kid is going to grow up to be a serial killer or something I'm almost convinced.. but anyway, today i said "no" to my mother, and my dad tried to "ground" me. I'm 16 years old, and I am counting down the days till I can move out when I'm 18. Also this week, my parents have given my brother $25 in a matter of 3 days. Apparently, it is an "allowance". However, when I asked him to help with the chores yesterday, he hit me in the jaw. He doesn't do chores here, so wtf? Of course there's no discipline in this house for him whatsoever, so he gets away with everything. So today, they gave him $10, and they gave me $6, the ONLY money I've gotten all week. And now because I told my mom "no", my dad is trying to take that $6 dollars away from me, and ground me. Why do I get in trouble for the stupidest things, and they bend over backwards for my brother??! I'm so sick of this sh*t, I cannot wait to move out. >:[
Best Answers: What the hell is wrong with my parents?
Bertie | 2 days ago
To be honest I do not blame you for wanting to move out. You should not have to put up with any abuse from you brother and when he does act out your parents should discipline him in some shape, form or manner suitable. They should also comfort you and try to explain about your brothers condition and things they can all do to help him behave better and avoid these situations.
I do not think you a spoiled at all. After putting up with a brother like that you would at least expect your parents to treat you fairly. This does involve receiving a steady 'allowance' for both of you if your family practices this. Perhaps try to convinve your family to have a set rate of pocket money per week providing you do chores, homework etc that is the same for both you and brother. Also if they insist he needs more then kindly ask for an explanation as to why. No, I don't think your parents can request money they gave you back. One would not do the same to a gift.
I hope this helps and good luck with your family. Make sure you have a sure road for when you turn 18. Plan for college or work etc...
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If your parents ask you to do the chores because you are the only one around to do them, well why stick around and get into trouble?
How can you get into trouble when you are over at a friend's house?
Try hanging out someplace else besides the home. This might not work out to well, and should be worked up to, with your finding someone you can visit for a while each day after school, say that you are studying after school with friends, and then start to work longer times at someplace else.
This is what my sisters did at your age. I ended up being the one at home that had to do what chores where left over. Anyway your borother can not hit you if you are studying your schoolwork at a friend's house, the library, or someplace else. Do you do sports, such as soccor? This will also keep you out of the house to practice, and then play the games.
You will look back on the chores (3-5 years from now), and see them as very easy to do once you have a 40 hour a week job, need to raise $400 a month to rent a room, another $400 a month to pay for your own food, $250 car payment, and about $1,500 a year for car insurance. Then looking at what you had to pay for at your parent's home will seem very low cost.
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Being a teenager seems rough, but wait until you get out in the real world.
Get a job. You should be old enough to work part time somewhere. This way you can see your parents and brother less (less conflict) and have your own money.
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Sadly, many parents of children with "ADD and ADHD" (which is VASTLY over-diagnosed when there is an underlying discipline problem) are afraid to be anything but nice to that child. They're afraid of hurting his feelings or making him lash out. They're hurting him more than helping him. He can't get away with punching people in the face in the real world and shouldn't get away with it now.
You sound spoiled. While your parents should be fair if they give either of you money, it's not their DUTY to give you spending money, nor your RIGHT to receive money.
And ALL of us have felt the pressures of parents playing favorites. All of us have counted down the days until we're 18. Fact of the matter is, turning 18 does not make you wise, it does not come with a lump sum of cash, it does not make you more mature, and frankly, it does not make you an adult.
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Originally Answered: What the hell is wrong with my mom?
I believe your "little" brother needs to be put into a mental institution to get to the very ROOT of his mental problems! He has some serious issues that NEED to be attended to. His friend's mother has NO idea of what she's getting involved with. Staying at her home is going to be putting herself living her life in hell. He DOES badly NEED SERIOUS help, brushing it under the rug is NOT going to solve it. He need 24/7 care in a mental facility to attempt to get his life straightened out once & for all as long as it takes. My adult Daughter has been a Physc RN for 30 yrs. Has told me hair raising stories of some of her patients. He sure sounds like one! Get him committed to a place where he can get the help he needs before he turns 18 & has full control over himself. Tell your mom to do it ASAP for the sake of ALL involved, he IS mentally ill & needs help badly. I highly suggest this for his sake, for everyone's sake...the best to you, honey...DO IT PLEASE...:)