Topic: Leadership writing activities for kids
June 24, 2019 / By Baptist Question:
I try to hang out with my friends but whenever I do, I feel so out of the loop and like they all have a ton of inside jokes. I'm not a very secure person, but this is a new low for me. I feel like they always make plans without me and I'm stuck at my house, like I am now. I try to start things but whenever I do they're busy, and when we actually hang out in my head I'm just like "god, when is this over? They're irritating," I know I shouldn't feel this way but I just can't help it and I just... I really hate it.
Thanks in advance.
Yannic | 4 days ago
I know how you feel. This is one of those "If you can't relate, don't judge" situations.
Well, first off I'd say that you need to be patient with your friends (yeah, everyone can get annoying sometimes), and stick around. Just be calm and patient and know that it WILL end.
Secondly, INSIDE JOKES HURT!! It's never fun when you're hanging out with your friends and they start laughing about something that happened at a time you weren't there. It's like they're saying "Hey, we had a great, memorable time that one day we didn't invite you". Because you know how it feels, you also have to remember not to pull inside jokes when you're with others, only with the person you shared it with. And explaining the joke to people who weren't there doesn't help, either. Just save inside jokes for one-on-one time. There's really no way you can express this to your friends, but if you avoid inside jokes around others then they might catch on. If a friend mentions your mutual inside joke around others, don't make a big deal. Just smile and say "Yeah, that was funny" and move on.
The key to making plans is to make them early, especially if you're dealing with someone who does theater, sports, dance, and every other activity on the planet. PLAN AHEAD. Generally, making "Hey, do you wanna sleep over tonight" plans don't work out. Plan a week or two in advance, it's helpful. When dealing with the "I don't know and I won't know until, like, the night before" people, it's wise to just keep one or two dates open, and if they can't hang out those days, too bad, you're booked. They shoulda planned ahead. Don't voice that, though. People won't think highly of you if you say that.
And always be on the lookout for new friends. You don't have to drop the old ones, but I guarantee there are people out there who could be your bestest best friend and who won't irritate you every time you hang out. You just have to look. Be friendly, inviting, and make new friends when given the opportunity. This might be hard if you don't do leadership, theater, or stuff like that where they go on retreats and weekend trips together and make, like, 17 new friends at "leadership camp" during the summer. People meet people through mutual activities. School is one, but it doesn't guarantee good friendships, cause your mutual meeting place is required. Online things like writing, gaming, Facebook, Twitter, etc... can also help too. Even yahoo! answers is a possibility. I've made online friends here! :) Anyways, get to know people who like the same things you do. That's why you make more friends in elective classes than in math and science.
Lastly, if none of this works, it may just be that you're more of an indoor person, who prefers online and solitary games and activities to going out and meeting random people. There's nothing wrong with that, you're just not a social butterfly. You like dependence and being comfortable with life rather than being outgoing and extremely talkative. You can't make friends at the drop of a hat, and you're not the girl with 700+ Facebook friends. You're searching for something you want to do and be good at and you KNOW you're not gonna find it at the mall or in the school cafeteria, talking and flitting from social group to social group, hitting every person possible who has a voicebox and the ability to form words. It just means you're more set in your ways, you'll probably find your niche on your own, without help or years of indecision. Honestly, you're the kind of person who won't really enjoy high school, but will turn up for the 20-year reunion in an expensive car, with great style and attitude, who's been making great money and lives in a beautiful vineyard mansion with her three amazing kids and equally rich, attractive husband. The butterflies peak when they're teens. Just imagine yourself as still being a caterpillar. You'll be a bright, beautiful butterfly when they're shrivelled and brown and pretty much done. Enjoy that thought.
Well, good luck! I really hope this helps you!
Have some one on one time with a few of your friends. That way when you go out in a group you can still be comfortable. Once your out try to think positively. Ask them to explain the jokes if they will and while you're they you and your friends may come up with a few of your own that you all share. Ask a friend early on if they can hang out instead of last minute so you know what their plans are. If they're busy maybe you can try again that next week.
Don't leave the loop, no matter how obnoxious people get. Once your out, your out.
Believe me. I learned the hard way. Stay with them until you find new friends then ditch them, but don't drop out right in the middle because your life WILL become very miserable.
Keep up with them even if it totally sucks. At the same time find new interests and explore new things to meet new people, when you meet new friends ditch these friends.